Page 108 of No Match Found
It was quiet.
“Is this about Chase?” he finally asked.
“No,” I protested. “It’s not.”
His eyes searched my face. “Vivian, I’m going to say it again. I love you.”
I pulled in a shaky breath but said nothing.
His gaze was fixed on me, the littleVgrowing deeper. It reminded me of the night of my date with Leo.
He slipped his hands out from under mine.
“You’re upset,” I said.
“Yeah. I am.” The intensity of the response surprised me. He really was mad.
“It’s not about you,” I said. “It’s just…reality.”
“It is about me. You’re choosing to believe Chase—an idiot who couldn’t see what was right in front of him—over me.”
“It’s not about believing Chase. It’s just…” I struggled to find words.
“I know what it is,” he said. “You think you’re some kind of anomaly. So what if you are? What do I care if you’re an anomaly? I’m telling you I love you. But it doesn’t matter how many times I tell you that. Not if you refuse to believe it.”
My heart thumped against my chest as we stared at each other in silence.
His frown softened slightly, matching his voice when it came out. “We could have something really good, Vivian. I know that. I can feel it, and I think you can too. But not if you’re always bracing yourself for the other shoe to drop.”
My entire body was tight with tension, with the need to do something, anything.
He let out a little sigh. “I’m pretty tired. I’m going to go get some sleep.”
I nodded, my throat tight.
He turned away, and I grasped at his hand before it was out of reach.
He paused and looked down at our entwined fingers, then squeezed my hand and dropped it again.
And then he left.
THIRTY-FOUR
I sincerely regretted sayingyes to a meeting with Stratus Capital when I woke the next morning after a terrible night of sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking of how Grant and I had left things last night.
I knew he was right—that I was sabotaging us before we even had a real chance together. He couldn’t force me to believe him. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But I also felt stuck. I wanted more than anything to believe that Grant loved me now and would continue to love me. But how could I force myself to believe it?
I knew if I went to the Matchify office to prepare for my meeting with Stratus, I wouldn’t be able to focus. I’d be thinking of Grant,wantingGrant. But for the next two and a half hours, I needed to focus on Matchify and its future. Mine would have to wait.
It was the Jericho Rose that pulled my gaze again and again as I worked from my laptop. The more I looked at it, the more significant Grant’s decision to give it to me felt. I was that dried up tumbleweed, and he was trying to give me water. I just didn’t know how to let myself soak up what he was offering.
I took my laptop to my room to focus, going over my slide decks and rehearsing what I would say. I arrived ten minutes before the meeting and went straight to my office to get everything prepared. Normally, I would’ve been happy to see my friends, but last night had been so confusing, I didn’t feel ready to talk about it. I also wouldn’t be able to talk to my friends withoutthem trying to weasel information out of me about what happened once they’d left.
Jenna brought Lauren Chen from Stratus Capital to my office a couple of minutes after ten. She was poised and well-dressed, with enough warmth not to feel intimidating but still be taken seriously.
After a short interlude of polite conversation, I launched into the pitch, going through the slide decks I’d spent so much time perfecting.
