Page 147 of Never After Us
Not when I’m inside her and she’s still trembling around me and I know—I fucking know—there’s never going to be anyone else.
“I love you,” I tell her, looking straight into her eyes.
“I fucking love you so much,” I repeat.
The words are hoarse, wrecked, and the most authentic thing I’ve ever said in my entire life.
Her eyes widen, her breath catching like maybe she feels it too—maybe she’s been holding it back like I have.
“I know we said we’d wait,” I breathe, voice fraying as the words leave me, “but—fuck, I can’t.”
My chest tightens, everything in me cracked wide open.“I can’t pretend this is anything less than everything.That you’re not it.That I don’t feel like I just came home for the first time in my life and didn’t even know I’d been lost until you opened the door.”
She’s staring up at me, eyes glassy, lips parted like she feels it too.
My hand trembles as I brush the hair from her face, fingers soft, still buried inside her, still trying to memorize the way she feels wrapped around me.Like I could stay here forever and still not get enough.
“You’re it for me,” I whisper.“Not just this.Not just tonight.The whole damn thing.You’re the reason my heart beats differently now.”
Her lashes flutter, and I lean in, resting my forehead against hers, breath warm between us.
“I don’t care how long it takes for you to fall,” I tell her, voice shaking.“You take your time.You guard your heart.I’ll be right here.I’m yours, Mara.”
I want her in ways that burn straight through my skin and settle into bone.I want her laughs and her silences and every guarded corner of her soul she’s still afraid to give.
I don’t just want her love.
I want her trust.
Her forever.
All of her.
ChapterSixty
Mara
He’s still inside me.
His forehead rests against mine, his breath brushing over my lips, warm and uneven.His words echo through the silence he left behind—the ones he wasn’t supposed to say.The ones I didn’t know I needed until they shattered me wide open.
You take your time.You guard your heart.I’ll be right here.I’m yours, Mara.
God.
This man.I can’t not fall for him.I can’t not love him.It’s impossible not to become ...whatever we’re becoming, and it feels right.
There’s no guilt now when I think about us being together.Me loving him freely.Do I have a lot to work through for the next lifetime?Probably.Life hasn’t been easy, but it’ll be a lot easier if I have him right beside me while I’m trying to heal.Isn’t that what’s been happening since I arrived?
“You love me,” I say, smiling because I believe him.
He’s been showing it to me all along, hasn’t he?
I reach up and trace the line of his jaw with trembling fingers, brushing over the stubble I’ve grown used to, the warm skin that’s starting to feel like home.
“You weren’t supposed to say that,” I whisper, voice thin and shaking.
He shifts, just enough to look at me, eyes dark and unguarded.“I know.”
