Page 87 of Walk With Me
Ishould’ve known things were going too well. No one gets to sail through life as happy as I’ve been recently, not without some universal balance.
It all started on my birthday weekend two weeks ago. Everything leading up to the fire pit was fucking epic. Sloane’s mum and dad really went all out, and I was extremely touched by their generosity. All my old and new friends came along, and we had a blast. I could’ve done without the speech by my mum, to be fair, but that was the only embarrassing bit.
Then Kiera opened her fucking trap, and it all went downhill. I felt Sloane retreat within herself. The longdistance thing has been a dark cloud hovering over us, even though we’ve discussed it at length. We’d finally gotten to a place where it wasn’t overshadowing our relationship, and then Kiera spat out her stupid statistics.
I saw it in Sloane’s face as she absorbed the information. One thing I’ve come to realise about my girlfriend is she’s someone who tends to overthink. Small worries get bigger as she turns them over and over in her mind until she’s brimming with anxiety.
I tried to get her to talk to me that evening, but she needed more time to process. We ended up having sex again, which was fantastic. However, I knew she was keeping something back from me and it stopped her from fully letting go in bed.
Since then I’ve felt her pulling away, and I sort of get it. She’s trying to protect herself. I doubt she even realises what she’s doing, which is why I’ve given her whatever space she needs.
So that’s been an adjustment and pretty crappy. Then I got my first rejection letter. Rhode Island, my first choice of college, wasn’t letting me in. Sucks major fucking balls, but what can ya do, eh? I’ve still got two other colleges I’m waiting to hear from.
The third sign of the universe balancing the scales was my truly ungraceful fall off of the gym treadmill. Yup…full-on wiped out in front of the entire class. Grazed the shit out of my knee and shin. Rolled my ankle too, which is worse because the charity run is next week.
I’ve been hobbling around like an invalid for the past three days. The bruise is a doozy and for a second I panicked about internal bleeding. Mum took me to the emergency room to be on the safe side.
Fourth, and I’m not sure what this means: Sloane and Kiera have gotten close. For the first time I might be experiencing jealousy. I trust Sloane completely, but I’m on the fence about Kiera’s intentions. She was generally cool at my party and has been nice ever since. I know they’re working on the charity run together. Kiera is majorly connected and has really helped organise everything. It’s just…why isn’t Sloane wanting to organise it with me?
A flicker of insecurity is alight in my chest, and I really don’t like it. Sloane and I are different. Sloane and Kiera are not. They’ve got loads in common. It’s why I thought Sloane would say yes to Kiera taking her out on a date before I knew she liked me.
Rationally, I know the distance between me and Sloane isn’t helping my brain compute her and Kiera’s sudden friendship. I just don’t know what to do about it.
Sure, I could talk to Sloane, but what if I come across as needy? Worse, what if Sloane is reconsidering our long distance plan? Could the two percent success rate make her give in before we’ve even tried?
“Eden, you’re going to need a dentist if you grind your teeth any harder,” Pia says, sinking to the ground next to me. The weather is still unseasonably warm, and I’ve taken to eating lunch on the field under a big tree. It’s kind of romantic. Well, it would be if Sloane was here.
“Where’s Todd?”
“Bro-ing out with Bryce. It’s gross.”
Bryce and Todd’s blooming friendship is another surprise. They seem to have hit it off at my party and are now BFFs. Pia’s not pleased, but that’s only because she doesn’t have Todd all to herself anymore.
“Ah, leave them alone. They love each other.”
She flicks my ear but laughs along. “True. Anyway, what’s with the jaw clenching and teeth grinding?”
I sigh, because what can I say? I miss my girlfriend and life seems to be fucking with me right now.
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
“I call bullshit. Is it your ankle?”
Wiggling my foot, I work out some of the stiffness. “Nah, it’s fine.”
“So it’s Sloane then?”
God, Pia’s like a dog with a fucking bone.
“P, it’s nothing. I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself.”
“You’ll get into CalArts, Eden. I know it.”
“Fingers crossed,” I reply. I’m really ready for today to be over. I need to paint my stress away.
Throwing an arm over my shoulder, Pia leans her head against mine. “Want to hang out? It’s been way too long since we’ve had a bestie night.”
She’s not wrong. With the change in group numbers and dynamics, we’ve not been hanging out with each other a lot.
