Page 46 of Ulf's Destiny
“I think you already have, many times.”
Heat flared inside her chest because she had done that, and more. So what was Ulf saying? Was he taking exception to what they had shared? Or was he worried she would rather raise this baby with her?
“You—”
“I don’t mind,” he soothed, reading her thoughts. “Your past is none of my concern. But I have to ask. Do you have feelings for her?”
The heat in her chest crept all the way to her cheeks. “Not in that way. She is dearer to me than I can express but I never saw her as a lover, someone I could spend my life with.”
Why was he asking? Was he jealous? Her heart missed a beat at the thought.
“I’m only asking because I spoke to her earlier, to thank her for having come to find me,” he said, as if he’d heard her questions. He’d always had the ability to do that. In fact, it was one of the things she liked most about him. As different as they were on the surface, deep down they understood one another. “And I got the impression that she might think differently than you do.”
He looked uncomfortable to have to tell her that but she knew what he meant. Of late, she had started to wonder if her friend had not started to develop feelings toward her, feelings she unfortunately didn’t return. For Ylva, what had happenedwhile they were slaves in Mildred’s house had never been more than a way of coping with their miserable life. She had been certain it was the same for Judith and since they had been freed five months ago they had not shared a bed, or kissed once.
But there had been lingering looks, and moments of awkwardness, especially when they had discussed Ulf.
With the baby coming, and him back in her life, the issue would have to be addressed. Ylva could only hope that she would not hurt her friend when she told her that she could not return her feelings.
“I will speak to her.”
“She’s welcome to come to the village with us, you know,” Ulf said, making her wonder for the hundredth time how she had been so lucky as to cross paths with such a selfless, understanding man.
“Thank you, but I doubt she will want to. We left precipitously in the winter because she was uneasy with the idea that the people there knew what had happened to her. I think she likes living here for that reason. No one knows our past, no one knows that we were slaves or that she was raped.”
“I understand. I’ll leave you two to decide what’s best.”
“So this is it.”
Ylva swallowed. After so many years spent side by side, after so much suffering endured together, she was saying goodbye to Judith. In more than twelve years they had rarely spent more than a day apart. It felt odd, wrong even. But she had been unable to refuse Ulf’s request that she go back with him to the village. It made sense, and in truth, she wanted to be with him at this time.
“This is it for now,” she said. “But I will be back when I have seen?—”
“I hope you won’t. I hope you find a home in the Norsemen village with the father of your baby. Then everything will be as it should be.”
Was that what Ylva hoped? Was such a thing even possible? “I don’t…”
She stopped because she had no idea what she wanted to say. She could barely talk for emotion anyway. Her chest had gone unbearably tight. This parting was even more difficult than she had dreaded. Judith shook her head and gave a small smile.
“I’m glad we were freed when we were because, to be honest, I think I was falling in love with you, all the while knowing you would never return my feelings. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way, and you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s only that… Well, that without you, I would have died of despair in that hellhole and I loved those moments spent in your arms.” She lowered her gaze. “If you must know, that was another reason why I went to get Ulf. I was hoping he would be the good man you told me he was, and he would take you away to be with you and your child before…before it was too late to save my heart.”
“Oh, Lord.” Ylva was appalled. She and Ulf had been right, her friend had developed feelings for her.
“It’s all right, I will survive. As I said, I knew from the start that there could be no future for us in that way. Only make sure the man treats you as you deserve, do you hear? Else I’ll have his balls.”
“I’m sure he will.”
The two women fell into one another’s arms, sobbing quietly.
Ulf joined them a moment later.
Judith straightened her back and stared squarely at him. “Take care of her, Norseman. Or else, I might well have to kill you again. You might not be so lucky the third time.”
He didn’t smile, didn’t tease, as he would have been justified in doing. Instead he placed a hand over his heart, the image of solemnity. “I will. I promise I will take care of her and our son or daughter.”
There was no doubting his sincerity and Judith nodded, satisfied. “Good.”
“Everything is ready,” Ulf told Ylva, placing a hand on the small of her back. “Come find me when you are.”
