Page 95 of Hittin' the Right Note
“I know why you’re here,” she said. “And I’m really glad you e-mailed.”
“I’m glad I did, too,” he said.
She took a deep breath, and he prepared himself to hear her inevitable judgment. To his surprise, though, she reached out and took his hands in her own. When he dared to look up into her eyes he saw tears there, too.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I hurt you like I did. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and to pray. And I’ve done my fair share of talking to both your mom and your dad. I can’t say I’ll ever really understand who you are, Luke, and I can’t say yet that I can ever approve of what you do with your life. But…it’s your life, and you’re God’s child, and you’re my nephew. And I love you. And…if you ever find yourself a boyfriend, I’d like to meet him.”
She stumbled a bit on the word “boyfriend,” but Luke didn’t mind. This was…well, this was a lot more than he’d even dared to believe was possible, and he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice trembling. “Really. I…don’t know what to say.”
And that was nothing less than the truth.
Aunt Patty just gave a little laugh.
“Luke Carter, speechless? I never thought I’d see the day.”
They both had a laugh and, while things weren’texactlythe way they had been, they were a hell of a lot better than they’d been the past year.
Luke was tempted to tell her about Mikey but, since he didn’t even know what his own feelings were for all that he pretended otherwise–he decided now was not the time. There’d be time to talk about Mikey in the future.
They settled into something like their old pattern. All too soon, though, it was time for Luke to leave. He didn’t want to push things too far, didn’t want to wear out his welcome. Better, he thought, to leave while things were good.
They gave each other a last hug while standing on the front porch, and Luke had to fight to hold back the tears.
“Thank you,” he whispered in her ear.
“I love you, Luke,” she whispered back.
“I love you, too, and I’ll see you soon.”
And then he was getting back in his truck and pulling away, Aunt Patty receding into the distance behind him.
As he drove away,Luke couldn’t help but grin. The whole thing had gone far better than he’d ever dared to imagine, particularly since Aunt Patty was as stubborn as any other member of his family. However, when it came down to it, she really did love him and wanted to have him as a part of her life, even if she wasn’t unequivocally accepting. The Luke of a short time ago would’ve said that wasn’t good enough. The Luke of the present, though…well, he was a different and more thoughtful person, and he knew giving grace was a very useful thing.
Look at me,he thought wryly.Actually being willing to forgive people, even when I know they probably wouldn’t do the same if the positions were reversed. I guess that’s what they call growth.
Even though he didn’t want to admit it to himself, Luke had to acknowledge he wouldn’t have come this far if it wasn’t for what he’d shared with Mikey. Something about the way Mikey had made him feel like all of him was worthy of love. He no longer felt like he had to be ashamed of who he was or hide part of himself away.
Damn it, Mikey Smiles,he thought.I shouldn’t be having these kinds of thoughts about you. Not after what you did.
But then, he reflected, what was the point of all of this growth if he wasn’t even going to show some grace to Mikey? There came a time when you had to be able to put your pride aside and be the bigger man, no matter how frustrating it might be.
So, Luke made his way back to NACA, hoping to catch Mikey still there, a whole clutch of butterflies fluttering around in his belly. He knew he was being a baby, knew he was doing the right thing and that he would’ve regretted it if he hadn’t, but it didn’tmake it any easier to keep getting closer to the Center, each block bringing him closer to what he knew would be a life-changing confrontation.
When he finally got there, he just parked and sat in his truck for several minutes, as a hundred–or more like a thousand–different thoughts cascaded through his mind. He’d tried psyching himself up, but now the moment was upon him he didn’t think he was actually going to be able to go through with it. It was just going to hurt too much to have to say he was sorry.
You can do this, Luke,he told himself again and again.And if you don’t, you’re never going to be able to forgive yourself for not doing it. So what are you waiting for?
What, exactly, was he waiting for? If he didn’t do this, Mikey sure as hell wasn’t going to, so he had to man up, grow a pair, and stride in there, telling the man he loved he forgave him.
And that’s just what he started to do. He got out of his truck and, throwing his shoulders back, started to walk toward NACA. He kept up the bravado as he walked through the halls of NACA, trying to find someone who could tell him where Mikey actually was. Finally, someone told him Mikey was in one of the rehearsing studios, and so that’s where Luke went.
Even before he got there, though, he stopped, because he heard something that almost made his heart stop.
He heard Mikey singing.
This wasn’t anything unusual, of course. After all, the two of them had just spent a whole week signing to each other.
