Page 79 of Hittin' the Right Note
This seemed to give Luke some courage, because he squared his shoulders.
“Can you tell me what it’s like to be pansexual? I’ve…I’ve always just been gay, so I don’t know what it’s like. I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just kind of want to understand you better, and this is a key part of who you are, and like…I don’t know. I mean, I’ve heard what you’ve said in interviews and stuff, but that’s not quite what I’m getting at.”
He trailed off, clearly not sure how to continue, so Mikey jumped in.
“Hmm…,” he began. “Well, let’s start with the basics. I’ve known I was pan since we were teenagers, though I guess back then I would’ve said bisexual. It’s just…I’ve always felt equally attracted to boys and girls, and it never mattered whether theywere cis or trans. Hell, I’ve been attracted to my fair share of nonbinary people. To me, people are just people.”
Luke looked uncomfortable again, and Mikey guessed he knew why.
“And it doesn’t have to do with body parts, either,” he said. “I’ve enjoyed sex with all kinds of people. I’ve just…always just been attracted to people, no matter who they were. I know it probably sounds cliche, but I fall in love with theperson.I know some people like to make fun of us and say we’re just sluts, but I think it’s kind of powerful to see all people as equal. Or at least to be capable of falling in love with them equally.”
“I see,” Luke said. “I want you to know I’m sorry for being a jerk about your sexuality earlier, and I also want you to know I’m goin’ to do everything I can to understand and respect you goin’ forward.”
Mikey still found Luke’s tendency to sometimes drop his “g”s adorable, even if he didn’t do it as much as he used to.
“You do this boyfriend thing right,” he said. “You know that?”
Luke smirked. “I do a lot of things right, or so I’m told.”
Mikey loved the banter and, as the two of them went back and forth, he just let himself enjoy the present for what it was. There’d be time enough in the future to deal with everything.
For now, it was enough that there was Luke, and him, and Duke.
That’s enough for me,he thought and, for once, he meant it.
CHAPTER 27
LUKE—2015
The week with Mikey had gone even better than Luke could ever have imagined. It wasn’t just that they’d reunited romantically, though that was amazing enough on its own. They were also in a creative synergy he’d never experienced with anyone else.
They’d returned to “A Guy to Build a Life With,” which they’d agreed was going to be the centerpiece of their concert, and the lyrics were finally in what Luke hoped was their final form. The song had ended up being a bit of a twangy ballad about two mountain men from northern West Virginia who spend most of their lives only crossing paths occasionally, neither of them able or willing to imagine what it would be like to have something more permanent until, at the end, they get to spend the rest of their lives together, alive and in love.
“I see it as a happierBrokeback Mountain,” Luke explained to Mikey, who was nodding along as he spoke. “That movie had a profound impact on me when I was a teenager. I…I think I saw some of myself in Ennis, and I was honestly never sure whether I was going to be able to have a happy life with another guy, or whether I was always going to have to sneak around. And when it ended so tragically, it sort of broke something inside of me.This song is me trying to write a different story. What do you think of the lyrics, now that they’re done?”
Up to now Mikey had taken a bit of a backseat to the actual writing of the lyrics–preferring to focus on the music and the instrumentation–but Luke genuinely wanted to know what he thought. In some ways this was also a song about the two of them, about how they’d managed to make their way back to each other despite all of the obstacles in their path and despite the years separating their younger selves from who they were now.
“I love them,” Mikey said. He was wearing one of his shiny shirts and a pair of tight jeans Luke had found very distracting, so distracting he almost missed the rest of what he was saying.
Focus, Luke,he thought.
“They have a lot of melancholy to them, but they don’t get maudlin. And they work really well with the music I wrote. The song has all the things we’ve been aiming for. It’s modern yet classic, simple yet powerful, with some killer instrumentation. I think we’ve got a hit. And you know what? I think we work better together than we ever did alone.”
Luke didn’t want to admit it, but there was some truth there. He was starting to rethink some of his own assumptions about what music could and should sound like. He still hadn’t quite figured out how hefeltabout this change in his perspective, but he was willing to let things play out for a bit. If it helped him to be a better musician, and if it helped to build up a good following for NACA, then it seemed like it all might be worth it.
Who even am I, anymore?He wondered.
“I told you some change would be good for you,” Mikey said.
Luke wanted to argue with him, but he found he couldn't.
“Anyway,” he said, ignoring Mikey’s jab, “I was thinkin’. We could release a few snippets of these songs, just a couple, to Spotify and YouTube. We could go ahead and start getting someinterest built up for the concert. And, who knows, maybe after the concert is all over we could record an album together.”
That, of course, was the dream, but he had no idea whether it was something Mikey would be interested in.
Mikey’s eyes lit up at just the mention of doing a record together, and Luke let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
Mikey reached out and took his hand in his own.
