Page 131 of Heartless Lord
No more than I already had.
“Calm down, Kill.”
Red.MyRed.
No. Not my Red. Not my anything anymore.
I’d ruined everything when I chose the Davenport name over her.
She gently took my hands, biting her bottom lip as she studied them. “Hurting yourself won’t do any good. Let’s get out of here. Someone must have heard the commotion by now.”
I yanked out of her hold and stepped back. She shouldn’t be this close to me. Not right now. Not after what I’d done.
“How could you stand to touch me after what I did? How can you even be near me?” Sweat dripped down my temples, and my heavy, frantic breaths filled the suddenly quiet room. “I’m a monster, just like my real father. I may have never physically beaten you, but I hurt you all the same.”
Her eyebrows slammed together. “You’re nothing like your father or Stan. You made a mistake, a huge one, and youdidhurt me. That doesn’t make you a monster.”
My bitter laugh ricocheted around the demolished room.
“A mistake? You call what I did, how I treated you, a fucking mistake? You were my best friend, the only girl I’ve ever lo—” The words were there. Always had been.
My mouth snapped shut before I confessed something stupid, and I slammed my fist into my chest, blood spilling down my hand.
“I am nothing but a black hole that consumes anything good. I destroyed our friendship because I was blinded by the idea of having it all. I betrayed you when you needed me the most, and then I blamed you for my pain when you were the best thing in my life.”
“I’m still in your life.” She grabbed my arms when I tried to pull away again, her nails digging in. “Despite everything that happened, I can’t walk away from you, Kill. I spent five years without you, and I don’t want to do it again.”
After everything... she still chose me.
I didn’t deserve that. Not even close.
I didn’t just fail her. I chose the man who’d hurt her. Who’dbrokenher.
Agony, a hundred times more potent than any physical pain I’d ever experienced, slashed deep gouges into my chest. Lexi admitting that she still wanted me was enough to placate the beast. Just barely.
The bloody fog choking me began to thin. I didn’t deserve her, but I sure as fuck would fight to keep her.
“I’m so sorry, Red.” My voice cracked, and I could hardly breathe through the invisible claws attempting to gut me. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything.”
“I know, Kill.” As another tear brimmed over, I caught it with my thumb, wiping her cheek, unable to stop myself from touching her any longer, regardless of how selfish that made me.
My eyes watered with the threat of tears as I pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. “I’m going to burn his world to the ground. He doesn’t get to walk away from this. Not this time, Red. I promise.” My jaw clenched, teeth grinding, as I drew back. “Iwillmake this right if it’s the last thing I fucking do.”
Stan wouldn’t get away with this. The bastard wouldn’t continue his reign of terror while pretending to be a saint.
He’d fooled me, but no more.
Lexi’s mouth parted, worry lines creasing her forehead. “He’s dangerous, Kill. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Nothing could hurt me anymore... except losing her.
“I can handle it.” After releasing her, I marched to Bass’s desk and typed on his computer. “I’m sending this file to myself and wiping it from Bass’s hard drive.”
He’d never know what happened to it.
Hopefully.
Lexi flanked my side and rested her tiny hand on my shoulder. “What do you plan to do with the video?” Her suddenly quiet voice ripped my insides apart.
