Page 76 of The Breaker
“Oh, that’s great.”
“Hope it stays that way.”
“She has nice hips. I think it’ll be fine.”
She did have nice hips. That was how we got pregnant in the first place.
“Did you show her the restaurant?”
“I did. She’s on board, so I made an offer.”
“Oh, that’s great,” she said as she sliced her fork into the tender pieces of eggplant.
I ate half my piece to be polite, knowing I shouldn’t eat meals this heavy more than once a week. My dinners were usually simple, just fish and vegetables. “There’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”
I’d decided to cut Aurelia out of the conversation entirely since this was a family matter. I didn’t want my mom getting upset with Aurelia over what Beatrice shared with her. But I didn’t lie either. “I get the impression that Beatrice has been having a hard time handling both of the boys on her own lately.”
“Being a single mother isn’t for the faint of heart,” she said before she took another bite. “Your father was around some of the time ... but mostly none of the time.”
The resentment was starting to make a little more sense now. Because my mother had had to do it on her own and run a business, she wasn’t particularly empathetic toward someone else in the same position. “Yeah, I remember. I can understand why you wouldn’t want that life for your daughter.”
“Yes,” she said with a sigh. “It’s unfortunate that she chose it.”
“She didn’t choose it, Ma. That spineless prick left. I could have hunted him down and dragged him back here, but I don’t think the boys deserve to have a father who doesn’t want to be there.”
“Well said, Con.”
“Aurelia and I are going to start helping her a couple days a week. Just to give her a break.”
“Why?” She straightened in the chair. “You have your own on the way, and you’re opening a new restaurant. You don’t have time for something that’s not your responsibility.”
“Doesn’t matter. She needs help.”
“Don’t let her guilt you into free childcare—”
“Ma, I love you more than words, but where is this attitude coming from?”
My words knocked her into silence.
“I understand raising two shithead boys and a daughter alone must have been traumatic for you. Had to run a house and run a restaurant, and my father was an asshole. Honestly, I wish he had just left if he didn’t want to be there. But don’t put that resentment on Beatrice. A parent should always want better for their child, but what I’m hearing is you want the same for her.”
She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “Con, where is this coming from?”
I tried to think for a moment, to make sure I handled this delicately. “I think it’s too apparent that I’m your favorite, and I think that’s affecting Beatrice.”
My mother continued to stare at me. Didn’t even deny the accusation.
“I know it has nothing to do with how much you love her. You’re just disappointed by the choices she made in life and the outcome of those decisions. I know you wanted better for her, but she ended up in the exact same situation as you—and that’s a hard pill for you to swallow. I understand all of that, but you need to resolve those issues and let them go because of how it’s impacting your relationship with Beatrice.”
“Did she say this to you?”
“It hurts her to see how much love you give to Aurelia when she barely gets your attention herself. And to be frank, it hurts me too. Because I’m a grown man who’s settled down with my own family, and I don’t need that support. But she needs it more than ever. She hasn’t been able to get back on her feet because she hasn’t had the support even to try.”
“How is that my fault—”
“It’s not, Ma. But I know if Aurelia woke up one morning and took off, you’d be there every day. You wouldn’t want me to hire a nanny because you’d insist my child should be raised by family, not hired help. I know emotions and perspectives and resentments are complicated and layered, and I’m just bringing it to your attention. Because I know how much love is in your heart, and I know how much family means to you ... and you’ve just lost your way with Beatrice.”
