Page 24 of The Breaker
She was just heartbroken for me.
“There has to be something that can be done—”
“No.” It was not worth the risk. I’d already watched Darius put a gun to her head, and I couldn’t do it again. I knew if he got his hands on her, he would do something infinitely worse. Would break all of Medusa’s bones and force me to listen to her cry. There was nothing he could do to me physically that scared me, but just a single scratch on either of them could bring me to tears. “Giving it all up for you was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. But living with the consequences ... that’s another beast.”
“I’m sorry this happened. I wish it had turned out differently. I hate seeing you like this.”
“I know, sweetheart,” I said. “And I hate seeing you like this too.”
She held my gaze for another second before her eyes darted away, avoiding the question I didn’t ask.
I’d shared with her, so I expected her to share with me, no matter how painful or difficult.
But she either looked at the house or the sky or her plate ... and never at me.
Because she didn’t want to tell me how Darius had hurt her. Didn’t want me to know she had nightmares about it. That she hadn’t really been herself since he’d laid a hand on her. That she didn’t trust she would ever feel safe again. That she didn’t trust me to protect her after I failed her.
Was it one of those ... or all of those?
But she held her silence and looked progressively more uncomfortable, paler in the face, colder in the lips.
“Talk to me, sweetheart.”
“I—I can’t.” She inhaled a deep breath, turmoil bright in her eyes.
“Yes, you can. I can handle it.”
“I’m just not ready.” She suddenly rose to her feet, the chair moving backward over the tile from her momentum. Then she walked back to the house and left me to sit there alone with dinner that neither of us would finish.
I didn’t go after her. Wouldn’t force her to confide in me. Wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. But I felt even more worthless, knowing I was the reason she suffered ... and she wouldn’t even let me fix her. Wouldn’t let me do anything to help her.
The sun was completely gone now, and only the lights from the city and the coastline were visible. A summer breeze moved through my hair as I sat there alone, Medusa lying on one of the nearby couches.
I grabbed my full glass of wine and downed it in a single gulp. Then I reached for hers, which hadn’t been touched all night, but I stoppedbefore my fingers made contact. I stared at the glass of white wine as hard as I’d stared at her face. Then I slowly pulled my hand back as the realization hit me. Hit me like a bolt of lightning on a cloudless day and triggered an earthquake below my feet.
But a second later, the world went still.
And I smiled. Smiled wider and harder than I had in a very long time. I felt an inexplicable joy that brought me to the clouds. My heart suddenly doubled in size as my love reached new heights. In an instant, my whole world changed—for the better. “Oh, sweetheart ...”
Chapter 8
Aurelia
My anxiety was through the roof, and if I didn’t get it under control, I was worried how it would affect our baby. The only time I felt a sense of calm was when I was at work—because I knew Constantine wouldn’t be there. Wouldn’t be able to ask me what was wrong.
I didn’t want to lie or evade his questions anymore, but I was scared as hell to tell him the truth. I took a few more pregnancy tests as time went on, just to be sure it wasn’t a false positive, but they all said the same thing and my period never came ... so this was real.
Fuck, I was gonna have a baby.
I’d known Constantine for less than three months, and he was in a depression so deep that I feared this news would just launch him into a spiral. He’d given up his entire life for me, and he was struggling to adjust. If he found out he was going to be a father too, it might push him over the edge.
He might think I did it on purpose, and he wouldn’t trust me ever again. I’d never skipped a pill and I’d been on the same contraceptive for years and years, so I couldn’t believe it failed me.
But if it was gonna fail, thank god it was with Constantine.
What if it had been with Enzo ... fuck that.
I worked in the kitchen through the morning, thinking about all those things incessantly, feeling plunges of anxiety in my stomach and then tremors in my fingertips. I had to tell Constantine soon because I couldn’t carry this lie much longer. And I couldn’t carry this truth alone—because I was fucking terrified. Terrified to be a mom when I wasn’t ready. Scared that I would have to do it alone, the way my mother had to. Scared to push a baby out of my vagina and not die.
