Page 18 of My Dead Wife's Ex Will Do
Jason shakes his head. “I have no idea about any of this.”
“That’s not how I recall it.”
Jason chokes on the sip he’s just taken, and fuck me, I should have bitten my tongue off before saying that. He lurches up and grabs a tissue from a box on the credenza. He dabs at the front of his shirt, his back to me, and then says, “What does that mean?”
I sigh. “Look, you don’t want to talk about what happened, so fine, we won’t talk about it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean anything.”
“Explain.”
Whoa. That was exactly the tone of voice he used when he ordered me to my knees that night. And it has the same effect on me tonight, causing a sudden urge to do whatever he says. Shoving that urge down, I try to make a joke of it. “Wow, Jason, with that attitude, you could probably give Logan a run for his money.”
He swings around and stares at me. “Are you saying that I…dominated you? That I forced you to…” He waves a hand in between us, encompassing what he can’t seem to bring himself to say out loud, then raises his hand to cover his eyes. “Oh, my God.”
“Jason, no. Come on, man, I didn’t mean…”
“I didn’t give you a choice, did I?” He scrubs both hands over his face, still not looking at me. “I just took what I wanted and didn’t give a damn whether you wanted it or not.”
Fuck, the memory of him doing that makes me as hard now as I was then. “Oh, I wanted it. Believe me, I wanted it more than—” I do bite my tongue this time. There’s no need to give him any more power over me than he already has.
I take a deep breath and shove my confusing and conflicting feelings about Jason down where they belong. “It happened, Jason, and as you said, it was a mistake. But you didn’t force me and I told you I don’t regret it. So, let’s just leave it there, okay? You should take the bed tonight. Get a good night’s sleep. I’ll take the sofa and we can swap tomorrow night.”
He nods, though his eyebrows are still knitted and there’s still that wrinkle at the bridge of his nose. He moves toward his empty wineglass, almost in slow motion, and I tell him, “Leave it, man. I’ll clean up.”
He nods again and heads for the bedroom. At the doorway, he pauses. “I wasn’t,” he says, his back to me, his hand on the door jamb.
“Wasn’t what?” I ask.
“I wasn’t sorry. About what we did. And no, I couldn’t promise God I wouldn’t do it again if I had the chance. So yes, I never confessed.”
And with that, he closes the door behind him.
Ten
Jason
I drop my head into my hands as soon as the door shuts behind me.
Mother of God, I cannot believe I just said those words to Victor. Especially after he strongly implied that I’d…
I swallow against the shame rising in my throat.
I had.
I’d wiped that bit of chocolate from his lips, then kissed him. With desperation, not tenderness. He hadn’t responded at first, which I’d taken for surprise in the moment, as he seemed to get into it pretty quickly.
And he’d done everything I’d asked of him. Not that I did much asking. Not with words, anyway.
“On your knees,” was the first and last thing I said to him. Before shoving my half-hard cock into his mouth and pulling his hair while he sucked me to fullness.
I fucked his mouth until his lips were puffy and red, then pulled out and pushed at his shoulder until he turned around.
I fucked in between his thighs while I held him down with a hand on the back of his neck.
The only thing that kept me from fucking his ass was the lack of appropriate lubricant to hand. Well, and I admittedly had no experience with that.
I didn’t ask him what he wanted or whether he wanted me at all. I just took what I wanted in the face of the abyss of grief that threatened to consume me.
From my wife’s best friend.
