Page 29 of My Dead Wife's Ex Will Do
I nearly choke on a sip of beer and try to cover it with a cough. “Your dad doesn’t normally talk to me about that kind of thing, Kels.”
Also true.
Kelsey blows a puff of wine-scented air out. “Yeah, I don’t think he’s really got anyone to talk to about things like that. He definitely won’t talk to me, not that I’m really anxious to think too much about Dad sex, you know?”
I nod and drain the last of my beer, then signal the server for another. I’m not sure how drunk I need to be to have a conversation with my daughter about her stepdad’s love life but it’s definitely drunker than I currently am.
“I know he really loved my mom. But she’s been gone for a long time, and I can’t help but think that he’s lonely.”
I suspect that’s true but have no way of knowing for sure, so I merely nod at her and take a sip of the beer that thankfully arrives and gives me an excuse to keep my mouth otherwise occupied.
“The closest he’s come to talking to me about it has been a few jokes about Mrs. Kowalski in the choir who apparently keeps dropping not so subtle hints about her recently-divorced daughter. The daughter has a son who’s getting married, too, so therefore, she’s perfect for Dad, I guess.”
I chuckle along with Kelsey at the notion of Jason letting himself get fixed up by an elderly matchmaker in his choir, but Kelsey turns serious again. “I just…I know it’s none of my business and Dad will date when or if he’s ready. I just wonder if there’s a reason he hasn’t and I hope it’s not me.”
Everything in me goes still. Shit, could she have seen Logan and Silas knocking on our door while I was on my knees before her stepfather? Surely not. Silas must have seen something because I saw him through the window, but didn’t Logan tell Jason that he hadn’t seen anything? Could she have overheard that conversation?
“I mean, I moved out, like, five years ago. I love him and we have dinner together once a month, but it’s been a while since I needed an active parent, you know what I mean?”
I relax a little and cover my near-panic with another gulp of my beer. “I know what you mean, Kels.”
She probably has no idea about Jason and me. She’s talking about Jason’s theoretical reasons for putting off dating again. And Logan also said they don’t gossip about things that aren’t any of their business. “I’m sure Jason will date again when he’s ready.” It’s lame, but it’s the only thing I can think of to say.
Kelsey looks over at Adrienne and twists her engagement ring around her finger. “I wish my mom could be here. But I also want Dad to be happy and I’m worried he’s not.”
I’m definitely not the person to talk to about her stepdad’s happiness. Still, I put my arm around her shoulders and she leans back against me. We let the others’ conversation wash over us while the rainforest’s cool evening breeze plays around the open-air restaurant.
When I get back to the casita, every light inside is on. I kick my sandals off just outside the door and enter. The living area is empty and the casita is silent. I pad barefoot across the living area to the bedroom and find Jason stretched out on top of the covers, still fully clothed in the day’s hiking gear, except barefoot. One arm is flung over his eyes and he’s fast asleep, his lips parted, snoring lightly. I walk soundlessly through the bedroom to the bathroom and reach in to flip the light switch. Then I tiptoe back to the doorway and snap off the bedroom’s overhead light. I plan to use the bathroom and get ready to sleep on the sofa as quietly as I can, then leave Jason in the bed to get an apparently much-needed good night’s sleep.
Except when I slip out of the bathroom, he’s awake and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Hey, man,” I say softly. He doesn’t look rested. “I’m sorry you missed dinner. Kelsey asked if you were okay.”
“Victor.” His voice is rough and there’s something in it that makes my heart speed up.
“Yeah?”
“I’d rather not talk or think about our daughter while you’re half-naked and we’re near a bed.”
I look stupidly down at my own bare chest. I’d stripped out of my shirt in the bathroom before brushing my teeth and my shirt is draped over one shoulder. My pants are unbuttoned, ready to slip them off in exchange for a pair of loose sleep pants I was going to try to ease out of a drawer without waking Jason.
“Come he—“ Jason starts, then presses his lips together. “Would you come closer, please?”
I cross the few feet to the bed and stop just out of his reach. I don’t really want a repeat of what happened earlier today.
Unless it ends in a different outcome.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Jason says. Maybe I’m that transparent, or maybe it’s just the elephant in the room for both of us. “I wouldn’t blame you for telling me to fuck off,” he continues. “But I do want you. Very much.”
God, I want him, too. Enough to deal with his baggage?
“I still don’t want Kelsey to know about what happened between us the night of her mother’s funeral. Which feels like lying and I’m not really okay with lying to her, but…”
“But maybe she doesn’t need to know everything about her dads’ sex life,” I offer.
The corner of his mouth lifts in a half-smile. “Yeah.”
“Listen, Jason,” I start but he interrupts me.
