Page 91 of So I'll Know
Before I can second-guess myself, I push into him. My thick crown inches inside Jeremy’s asshole, and it’s the tightest warm heat I’ve ever felt.
“Shit,” I hiss. “You’re so perfect.”
Garbled nonsense falls from Jeremy’s lips, and he presses back, sliding me deeper.
I grasp his hips, halting his progress. “Fuck, baby boy. Do that again, and I’ll come.” I draw a steadying breath. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Jeremy lets out a strangled sob. “Just fuck me like you mean it. I’m not fragile. I can take it. Iwantto take it.”
My legs shake as I push into him until I bottom out, my pelvis hitting his ass with an audible slap, and it’s all over from there. I can’t hold anything back. I pull out and thrust in, hard and quick, my hips pistoning. Sex has never felt this intense.
I chase the building pleasure as my balls tighten. Jeremy screams my name, his voice cracking as I push into him recklessly. But he wasn’t kidding. He’s encouraging me to go harderand faster, and I do because the euphoric feeling burning through me is making me feel unhinged.
Jeremy sobs with pleasure, and I pull him closer, my arm snaking around his waist, reveling in the feel of him surrounding me. “I’ve got you,” I murmur even though the words hurt my chest because they’re a lie.
There’s something wet on my cheeks, and I realize that I’m crying, tears streaming down my face. I lick salt from my lips and choke back a sob and dig my fingers into Jeremy’s hips until the tips whiten and I’m sure I’m bruising his perfect skin.
I can’t stand this. It’s all too much. It’s not enough.
I come with a roar, giving up my control for this man one last time. I’m still deep inside him, unloading everything in my balls, my orgasm blacking out my vision, as little white specs dance across my periphery like stardust.
Jeremy goes taut beneath me, and he grunts as white ropes of cum spray across the comforter. He collapses flat on top of the mess, and I fall with him. I tug him against my chest, my softening cock still buried in his body.
When he tries to pull away, I hold him tight, trying with all my might to control the onslaught of new tears. I can’t let him turn around. He can’t see me like this. He’ll know.
This is it, Starlight.
He relaxes in my hold with a soft sigh, beyond blissed out, and after a few minutes, his breaths grow even. I turn my face into the pillow and fucking cry like I’ve never cried before, everything in me breaking and splintering apart. Sorrow and guilt inundate me, pulling me down a deep hole, leaching away all the color and light.
Eventually, my cock falls free, and I know I need to leave. I manage to loosen my grip and gently roll Jeremy away from me, climbing out of the bed slowly so as not to jostle him. He murmurs something softly in his sleep, his face peaceful.
I fight another round of tears as I search for my scatteredclothes and dress quickly. As I sit to put on my boots, T’s soft, furry head finds my palm in the darkness, nudging it affectionately.
“Take care of our boy, okay?” I whisper, choking on the words. He gives me a soft chirp in response.
I push up and shrug on my coat, and I don’t look back as I leave.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MARCUS
Istare at myself in the mirror, straightening my tie. I’m looking at the version of me that younger Marcus always wanted to be, but now I just feel hollow and fake clean-shaven in my perfectly tailored suit.
Skynet’s annual gala fundraiser is tonight. As a teenager, I longed to attend this event. My parents would leave together, dressed to the nines, and I would imagine what it might be like to attend some sort of fancy prom for grown-ups.
Now that I’m finally going, I’m dreading everything about it.
I’m leaving with my dad’s driver to pick up Sabrina in about ten minutes. The event is a partnership with Fred Hutchinson, which funds cancer research, so at least it’s one of the few things my father’s company has done right over the years.
Despite my outward calmness, my social anxiety is sky high, ricocheting off every raw nerve in my body, and believe me, there’s a lot of raw nerves.
I miss Jeremy.
I miss him so fucking much.
I’ve somehow become even more obsessed with him, if that’s even possible. I think about him all the time: the way he smells,the sound of his voice, the feel of his skin against mine, the way he brushes his hair from his merman eyes.
Just like every morning for the past two weeks, it took monumental effort to get out of bed and take care of myself.
