Page 85 of So I'll Know
“Idon’t understand?” Rage bubbles under my skin, and my vision blurs. “I knowexactlywhyIdon’t matter. You have a whole list of people to consider, and I’m at the bottom. I matter tono one, Marcus. I’ve been someone’s afterthought my whole fucking life. Just another poor kid in foster care, a burden on my aunt, or a good fuck.”
I regret the words the minute I say them because of course he would choose his family. But I’m so tired of being second string to every fucking person who’s supposed to care about me. My feelings are getting all twisted into this relationship, and it’s getting hard not to be selfish.
Marcus’s eyes widen, and a tear trickles down his cheek into his beard. He drops back into his chair.
“I didn’t know you were in foster care.”
“It was only a year of my life,” I mutter.The worst year of my life.
Marcus leans forward, pressing his face into my side. I sigh and sit properly on the desk, opening my legs and pulling him against my stomach. His arms wrap around my waist, and his uneven breaths are hot against my abs, like he’s trying to suppress a sob. His vulnerability right now is about to kill me.
“You make this so difficult, baby,” I whisper.
“Make what so difficult?” is Marcus’s muffled reply.
“This. Us. Whatever we are.” I rub my fingers through his hair. “We’re not good together. We’re toxic. But I can’t quit you. It’s like a sick joke.” He gives a watery chuckle at that and looks up at me. I use my thumbs to wipe the moisture from his cheeks. “And as much as I don’t want it to, your tantrum is making me hard.”
Marcus glances down at my crotch and gives me a ghost of a smile. Then, to my utter shock, he undoes the button on my jeans.
My breath catches. “What’re you doing?”
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you wear these slutty little pants to work every day, Starlight.”
I give him an innocent look, and his gaze darkens. I lift my ass as he peels the jeans down my thighs with my boxers. My cock springs free, already weeping for him. Marcus has never let anything go this far in public, aside from that night at The Pegasus.
Yes, we’re in a closed office, but?—
All my thoughts dissipate when he puts his mouth on me, gently swirling his tongue around the tip of my cock. I whine and push toward his face, lacing my fingers into his hair. He pauses and drops a tender kiss to my hip right over my scar. My breath catches and my stomach flips as I stare down at him, my lips parted in pleasure.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers. “Every inch of you.”
I’ve never let anyone see my damage until Marcus, hiding under long shirts or fucking in the dark. But the way he always worships that part of me has my heart melting for him daily. It’s why I can’t seem to let him go despite all his bullshit. He makes me feel cherished.Seen.
Marcus licks up my cock and takes it back into his mouth. We’ve done this often enough that he may as well be an expert at this point, but I can tell he’s rushing as his teeth scrape the underside of my cock, trying to coax my orgasm quickly. And I’m not really mad about it.
He pinches my balls and takes me so deep, I feel the back of his throat spasming around me. I tug his hair as pleasure takes over. My abs tense, and I cry out, shoving a fist in my mouth to muffle my scream as I come hard.
And that’s when I hear the door open. My head whips around, and my eyes meet Tristan’s. His expression of shock melts quickly into a knowing smirk.
“What the fuck, Tris?” Marcus roars. He pushes away from me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Ever heard of knocking?”
“My bad!” he chirps before he slams the door closed.
Marcus shoots to his feet and starts pacing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He tugs his hands through his hair. “Fuck!”
“Hey, c’mon, it’ll be fine. Sabrina knows. Why can’t Tris?”
He looks at me deadpan, and then his eyes drop down my body. “Can you put your dick away?”
“Oh, right.” I stand and pull up my boxers and jeans. “It’s just Tristan.”
“Yes, exactly. It’s Tristan.” His voice rises a few octaves.
“He’s our friend. And he’s queer.” I place a hand on his bicep, but Marcus jerks away from me. “He’ll understand.”
“The guy could have been an extra onGossip Girl.”
“I don’t think he’ll tell anyone, Marcus. He only ever talks to—” Panic floods my system. “Shit!” I take off out the door, running down the stairs. When I reach the dining room, Tris is standing with his back to me. I hear Marcus’s heavy footfalls behind me as he comes to a stop, almost colliding with my back.
