Page 67 of So I'll Know
“Don’t you want to clean up first?”
I shrug. “We’ll toss the sheets and comforter in the washer before we leave tomorrow. But I don’t want to think about that. Right now . . . I just want you.”
He gives me a tender look that hurts. It really hurts. “I didn’t think I’d do this with you so many times. It’s . . . surprising.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You thought I was just a one-and-done type of guy?”
He chuckles at my offense. “I was obviously talking about laundry, Jeremy.” He gives my foot a playful nudge. “Geez, get your head out of the gutter.”
I pout, which earns me a smile. Then Marcus yawns as he crawls up beside me and slots his warm body next to mine, holding me against him as though whatever this is between us might disappear at any moment.
And to be honest, it might.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MARCUS
Everything feels a little heavier as we roll into Seattle on Sunday afternoon. As soon as we passed into Washington State, I started keeping a watchful eye out for any suspicious cars following us. The weather hasn’t helped my paranoia as we drove through a proverbial soup of heavy downpour and thick fog the entire way home.
Everything looks eerie under those conditions.
Now, raindrops pitter-patter on the windshield as I signal and exit I-5, glancing at Jeremy. He’s staring out the window, his hair messy from a car nap and his face brooding. I’ve never seen him broody, and it’s troubling.
Happy? Horny? Indignant? Pissed off? All yes.
But broody? Never.
Of course, I’m in my head too, and it’s not a peaceful place to be. Jer and I just spent an entire weekend wrapped in each other, and I’ve never been more content but also more off balance. I initially thought giving in to his allure might get all these feelings out of my system, but it backfired spectacularly.
It did give me some clarity, though. Whether I’m queer or not, I don’t want this to end. And yeah, maybe we can’t be openhere like we were in Cannon Beach, but I can keep it private, right? Will Jeremy want that too? Is that why he’s been so stoic today? Because he doesn’t want us to be a secret? Or maybe he’s changed his mind about us, and the whole blissful weekend was one-sided on my part. My heart rate ramps up at the thought.
I white-knuckle the steering wheel.Jesus, now I’m panicking.
By the time I pull into a parking spot on Jeremy’s street, the tension between us is thick. I get out of the truck and open the door for him, checking the street for anything unusual, but nothing looks out of the ordinary. He hops out with his teal messenger bag in tow, his purple Converse landing on the sidewalk beside me with an aggressive slap. I sigh and walk around to the truck bed, unloading his suitcase. His oversized hoodie swallows his hands as he places one on his cocked hip.
“Well, I guess?—”
“Can I walk you in?” we say at the same time.
Jeremy’s brows furrow in confusion. “You want to come in?”
“If you want me to.”
He squints at me. “Is this a trick question?”
“Is that a trick answer?” I growl back, my patience slipping. Fear is heavy in my stomach, and it’s making my head spin.
Half of my brain is panicking that he wants to break this off. Whateverthisis. The other half is screaming that we’re exposed standing out in the open together, that at any second, Ryan or one of his goons could show up.
And what then, Marcus? Standing across from another man on the sidewalk doesn’t make you gay. For fuck’s sake.
“Do you want me to come in or not?” I blurt.
“I-I guess.”
“Fine, then get your cute, stubborn ass inside the building.”
He looks comically affronted, but nevertheless, he wheels his suitcase past me and yanks it up the steps. I glance around to make sure no one is around, and then I follow him.
