Page 58 of So I'll Know
He’s not upset.
“It’s not like you did it on purpose. It was like serendipitous stalking. Right?”
“Well, that word implies that some good came out of it, and it led to this.” I cup his cheek, and he leans into my touch. “So, yeah, you’re definitely my happy accident, Starlight.”
“I had that red streak when I was fifteen. How many times were there?”
“What do you mean?”
“In your conversation with Norah, you implied that you’d seen me more than once.”
“Oh.” I lick my dry lips. “Maybe seven since we met.”
“Seven?”
I nod slowly. “In Brighton, there was the arcade, the bus stop, the movie theater, the beach bonfire right after I graduated high school.” I hesitate. “Then after I finished college, I swear I saw you in Vancouver a couple times after I moved: once on the SkyTrain and once walking up Robson Street, but I couldn’t be sure.”
The corner of his mouth ticks up, and I have theoverwhelming urge to kiss him again. “I lived with my friend in Vancouver for six months after a bad breakup.”
“Damn,” I whisper.
“I wish . . .” His voice is quiet. “I wish you’d talked to me sooner.”
I look away. “I didn’t want to make it real because then I could lose you. But also,” I take his hand, twining our fingers together, “I’m not good for anyone, really. I’ve fucked up every relationship I ever had, even friendships—other than Norah and my siblings.”
Jeremy scoffs. “I doubt that.”
“No, it’s true. I’m a workaholic and an asshole.” He chuckles at that, but I’m completely serious. “I have what my therapists have called emotional detachment. I come across as cold and standoffish, I guess. It hurts feelings. It’s hard for me to let people in.” I trail a finger along Jeremy’s shoulder and down his arm, distracted by his smooth, pale skin. “And when I finally have let them in, they’ve left because I’m?—”
“Too much,” we finish at the same time.
My eyes snap to his, which are swimming with empathy and tears.
I brush the pad of my finger over his teal fingernails. “You always seemed so . . . innocent, I guess. I would’ve been your downfall.” I give him a serious look. “Iwillbe your downfall. I’ll hurt you. It’s why we shouldn’t be doing this.”
He moves his hand to grip mine, then kisses my knuckles. “I’m not the angel you think I am, Marcus, just like you’re not the devil you perceive yourself to be. But if this means I’m going to hell, then bring on the brimstone.”
My stomach flips, and I surge forward, crushing our mouths together because I can’t not. I can’t resist anything about this anymore.
Jeremy Hart has me by the balls in the best and worst way possible.
I deepen the kiss, and he whimpers into my mouth, pushing his firm body against mine, and I swallow the sound. Silver moonlight glows around the room, giving Jeremy that otherworldly aura I’ve become so addicted to. I straddle him, my cock hard and heavy between my legs, and push him down into the mattress. He stares at me, his pale eyes drooping closed, blond lashes fanning his cheeks.
I lean over him, ravaging his jawline and neck, leaving red, bruising marks in my wake. I don’t stop, sucking and biting down his chest, taking one of his nipples into my mouth and swirling it with my tongue.
He squirms and moans while I suck harder, biting at his sensitive flesh. “Marcus, baby, I need you to touch my cock.”
I ignore him and move to the other nipple, and he starts panting faster. He grinds up into me, our bare cocks pushing together, and I let out a gasp, dropping my face to his skin, which is still sticky with my saliva.
I push the sheets out of the way, but he grabs me, his hands shaking, his knuckles white. I frown, looking back at his face. In the pale light, his eyes are shining with moisture, tears already clinging to his lashes.
“I-I’m sorry,” he chokes. “I really don’t want to stop, but . . . can I put my boxers back on?”
“What’s wrong, Starlight?” I wipe a tear from his cheek, the streak of moisture shimmering beneath my thumb. “Why are you so scared?” He swallows, a hand covering his mouth to hold in a sob, but I see his chest quiver with the effort. “Please. Let me touch you the way you deserve to be touched.”
Another tear trickles down his cheek, and I kiss it away, the salt burning my tongue.
I keep my eyes on him as I reach for the sheet again. He blows out a breath, but his entire body is tense beneath mine. I trace my fingers down his abs, which twitch under my touch, mapping out every inch of perfect muscle, and I dip my headand drag my tongue along the same path, groaning in pleasure as I do because he tastes and smells so fucking good.
