Page 57 of So I'll Know
“Such as?”
“You know . . .” I take a deep breath, my heart pounding. “Butt stuff.”
Jeremy giggles. “Butt stuff?”
I bite his shoulder, causing him to giggle louder. “Yes, butt stuff.”
“I need more details,” he says between fits of laughter. “Did she peg you or just use her fingers?”
“Really, Jer?”
“Inquiring minds aredyingto know.”
“She didn’t peg me.” My body is on fire.Why is this so embarrassing? I’m a grown-ass man. I can talk about sex.“It was just her fingers and?—”
“And?”
“And tongue,” I say quickly.
Jeremy gets quiet, and then he turns in my arms until our noses are practically touching. “Did you like it?”
“Yes,” I say, my voice husky. “A lot.”
He pauses. “Does she know about me?”
His breath coasts over my cheeks with the question, and I can’t help leaning forward and brushing our lips together. The kiss is sweet and makes my insides feel like jelly.
“Of course she does,” I chuckle. “I remember telling her about one time in particular. You had a red streak in your hair, and she teased me because I called you Peter Parker. She thought it was telling that you’d chosen one of Spider-Man’s colors.”
He cranes his neck, and I feel him studying me in the darkness.
My insides twist as I think about the rest of that conversation, unwilling to repeat it out loud. Norah has a way of stripping your soul naked.
“Marcus, love, it’s truly adorable how innocent you are. I know that you approach everything in a pragmatic way, but Peter is in your life for a reason. His presence is no accident; there are no coincidences. He heals you, and you’re connected, whether you realize it or not. Maybe he’s not your soulmate, maybe he’s more, but you’ll never know unless you talk to him. What have you got to lose?”
“Nothing.”Everything.
“Would it be so bad?” she asks. “To love out loud the way you so obviously want?”
“No, but I don’tlovehim. Even talking to him scares the shit out of me.”
“You’re scared of love. We all are. But eventually you’ll have to face your fear or let him go.”
Jeremy interrupts my thoughts. “That’s a lot to unpack.”
Jesus, I said too much.I start feeling queasy.
“You called me Peter Parker?”
A flash of panic sucks the air from my lungs because thatone question could be the domino that tips this conversation the wrong way. I look away, my body bracing for some sort of devastating emotional impact.
But his fingers are gentle beneath my chin when they direct my gaze back.
“Why?” he asks
My throat feels dry, and the words come out raw. “Well, I didn’t know your real name, and you lived alone with your aunt, so it stuck.” I give him a shy, confused look. “I thought you’d be more concerned about the stalker vibes I was giving off.”
Jeremy laughs quietly, his warm breath a whisper over my skin. The sound eases my tight muscles, and relief washes through me.
