Page 57 of Hunting Little Hope
“I don’t want to be that woman anymore,” I said, quieter now. “I don’t want to have to be Big. Or poised. Or desirable in that polished, adult way.” My chest rose and fell slowly. “I want to be Little.”
There it was.
My truth.
“I’ve denied that part of myself my entire life,” I continued, my voice almost steady now. “Because it felt like I had to. Or like it was weak. Now I know better. Now I know that it takes a lot of courage to be who you really want to be, who you really feel like on the inside.”
Perry’s fingers tightened slightly at my hip.
Silence stretched between us all for a while, and I wasn’t sure if the men in the room with me didn’t know what to say or if they were waiting for more.
“What am I supposed to tell them?” I finally murmured. My voice dropped further. “How do I explain to them that I wasn’t the woman they met, and instead I wanted two Daddies, a pink pacifier and an annoying, yet adorablelittlebrother?”
“Pfft,” Perry responded before placing a sweet kiss on the tip of my nose. “I think, pretty girl, you meanbigbrother. But that’s okay. You don’t need to figure it out. You have two really Big Daddies who can help you do it.”
I looked behind me to the Daddies in question, my heart sitting in my throat. “I do?” I asked.
“You do, button,” Master—noDaddy—Tyrell replied. “As long as you want us.”
Silence settled over us again.
I shifted slightly, becoming more aware of how we were arranged. Daddy Lee steady and grounded behind me. Perry curled close in front. Daddy Tyrell somewhere just beyond my line of sight, quiet but present. They weren’t separate pieces. They were a unit.
And one I could fully acknowledge I didn’t yet understand well. I didn’t understand how Lee fit into Tyrell and Perry’s dynamic. I didn’t understand the lines between Daddy and Master and lover and partner. I didn’t understand what this would look like outside of this room, outside of soft blankets and quiet voices.
There were still things unspoken. I wasn’t naïve enough to think this would be simple. Or that feelings alone would smooth out whatever edges existed between the four of us. But I was so done with pretending that this wasn’t what I really wanted. Even if I didn’t know how I was going to get it, keep it, and make it work going forward.
However, as the three men surrounded me, none of the hows, what ifs, and whens really mattered.
All that mattered was that I fit. After years of hunting down the real version of me, I’d found her and I wasn’t letting her go.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tyrell
I’d never been particularly good at pretending I wasn’t affected by something.
But I’d had a lot of practice.
I stood near the window long after the room had gone quiet, hands braced on the sill, breathing slow and measured while my body stubbornly refused to follow suit.
Fucking hell.
The image of the two of them entwined replayed whether or not I wanted it to. Hope trembling, soft and open, and Perry’s hands steady at her waist as the two of them writhed against each other, chasing their pleasure. Then there was Lee’s voice, where he did that growly thing that made evenmyknees go a bit weak. I closed my eyes briefly. I wasn’t ashamed of the arousal. That wasn’t the problem. I knew myself well enough by now. I knew what moved me. Tenderness did. Vulnerability did. Watching someone unravel and then be held through itabsolutelydid.
What unsettled me was how right it had felt.
My body was still tight with need, the heat coiled low and insistent, but beneath that was something scarier. Something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel much since this whole thing began.
Hope. Hope about being withHope.
God help me, I felt hopeful.
Behind me, I heard the faint murmur of Lee’s voice and the softer rumble of Perry’s response. I didn’t turn around because I didn’t need to. I could picture them without looking. Honestly, I could still see them in my mind’s eye.
That small, brief, and almost hesitant kiss. My chest tightened at the memory, and for one sharp, selfish second, I wished it had been me. A huge part of me wished Lee had turned to me. Kissed me. Chosen to share that with me first.
The thought flared hot and was gone in the same breath, because this was never about who was first. It was about Perry, HopeandLee. About all of us making a match that would last longer than this damn holiday.
