Page 38 of The Butcher
Only how far I decided to take it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lucia
The house felt different the next day, and I knew it had more to do with what was sitting in my head than anything actually changing around me.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the questions I wanted to ask Alexei, about the photo album and the glimpse of a version of him that didn’t match the man I knew now.
He had come to bed late, the mattress dipping under his weight before he pulled me against him without a word. His arm had locked around me, holding me close, and within minutes his breathing had evened out.
Alexei had fallen asleep quickly, like his body had reached its limit. It wasn’t just physical exhaustioneither. I could feel it in the way he held me, in the heaviness of him, like whatever he was dealing with had followed him into the room and stayed there.
I lay awake longer than I should have, staring into the dark and thinking about it. Not about Alessio, not about the brother I hadn’t known existed until this evening. That should have been the thing keeping me up, the part I couldn’t make sense of. Instead, my thoughts kept circling back to Alexei and what he was going to do next.
I wasn’t worried about whether he would handle it. I was thinking about how far he would go when he did.
And the fact that I cared more about that than anything else should have bothered me more than it did.
The next day I’d woken up alone, but a faint memory of him kissing my head and whispering gruff Russian played at the edges of my mind.
I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t think about the conversation I’d broach today. I made coffee I didn’t really want and carried it into the sitting room, then picked up a book and stared at the same page long enough to realize I wasn’t reading it.
My attention kept drifting back to him, to theway he had looked the night before, steady and certain, like nothing about what he was about to do was up for question. That certainty stayed with me longer than anything else.
By the time I gave up pretending I could focus, I found myself walking toward his office. The door was closed, but I could hear him inside. His voice carried through the wood, low and controlled, and even though I couldn’t make out every word, I knew he was still working through whatever he had already set into motion.
I knocked once before opening the door and stepping inside.
His head came up immediately when he saw me. He was behind the desk, sleeves rolled, phone in his hand. His eyes moved over me quickly, taking everything in before he ended the call without hesitation.
“Give me an update in an hour,” he said before hanging up.
The room went quiet, and his attention stayed on me. “You’re up early.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” I replied, closing the door behind me and stepping further into the room. I didn’t rush toward him. I gave myself a second, taking him in the way I had started to do more often, like I was trying to understand something that wasn’tobvious at first glance. “I didn’t know if I should bother you?—”
“You’re never bothering me,” he said instantly, cutting me off.
The silence that followed wasn’t heavy or awkward. It felt like we both knew what this was leading to, and neither of us was trying to avoid it.
I moved closer to the desk and stopped on the other side, my fingers brushing lightly along the edge as I held his gaze. I had to be honest. “I went into the library yesterday,” I said, my voice soft as I was hesitant to bring this up.
Bringing this up would never be appropriate with my father or any of the men I knew in my life. But Alexei was different. I trusted him, but most importantly, I felt safe with him.
“I know,” he replied.
“I didn’t go looking for anything specific,” I continued. “But I found a photo album.”
His gaze stayed on mine as he waited for me to continue.
“The one with the photos of you when you were younger,” I said.
He didn’t respond right away. I let the silence pass between us, letting him decide if he was going to shut it down or hear me out.
“I couldn’t help but notice how different—how happy—you were back then.”
His gaze sharpened, but he didn’t look upset. “What are you asking?”
