Page 90 of Just Listen
I nodded in understanding. “Then why did you move out?”
“Cause. That’s what Paisley wanted. Even with basically three kitchens, and all the space, she said that she didn’t like living with so many other women. And I got it. Women can be moody…and I really think that it boiled down between her and my mama both wanting to be the lady of the house. From Paisley’s perspective, she was with her man, and I was footing all the bills. Meanwhile, my mama was being a mama. She’s everybody’s mama, but Paisley’s. So, my sisters and brotherdon’t think twice when she tells them to do something. That hits different, when you’re grown, and feel like you gotta answer to your boyfriend’s mama.”
“Oh, I get it,” I giggled. “I can see how that would be an issue. It depends on the type of people who come together like that. Like with my mama? I could probably live with her forever, if there was a situation where I didn’t have the funds for my own house. Meanwhile, I can’t say the same about none of my grandmas. They come from a different place. My mama knows how to talk to us, while she constantly has to remind them grandmas, whenever they visit, that they can’t control how she runs her house.”
“Exactly. It’s definitely about their upbringing and shit,” he agreed.
“So, your mama and Paisley don’t get along?” I probed, wanting to know more, without seeming too pushy. Especially since he’d already sworn that his mamalovedher, previously.
He licked his lips. “Nah, they definitely get along. Because I listened when she saw that it wasn’t gonna work, after we’d all been here for about half a year. We moved out, and their close relationship remained intact.”
I nodded. “So, they’re good, as long as they don’t have to live together.”
“Exactly.”
“Then how is your mama gonna feel about me?” I had to ask.
He rubbed his hands together. “I told her about you and the baby. I made sure that she knew that we happened when I was completely single. Because I didn’t want her looking at you no type of way. So, y’all should be straight.”
I squinted. “You sure about that? I mean, the break-up with Paisley is still fresh.”
“Right. I understand that, and if we didn’t have Khari, then I would give it some time. To let the waters cool. But her getting acquainted with her grand daughter is urgent like a muthafucka. So, this is bigger than considering Paisley’s feelings.”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head.
He grabbed my hand and clasped our fingers. “What you don’t know about? Talk to me.”
I took a deep breath. “It’s like…for the last couple of months…I think that I was just so caught off guard, then excited for my baby. She has you now, which realigned so much for me. The right way. But now, I can’t help but divert back to this guilty feeling. Like I snatched the rug from underneath Paisley’s feet, and I can’t help but think about all the times that she sat on the phone, expressing how much she loved you, and didn’t wanna lose you.”
He exhaled. “Yeah, that shit is wild. And I’d probably side-eye you, if you didn’t feel a little off about how everything happened. But it happened, regardless, Jaylah. It’s no way to be nice about it. I chose to be with you and raise our daughter. I know that’s hurtful to Paisley, and I hate that I’m taking her through that. But even still, I’m choosing us.”
I nodded. “I hear you. But if I ever run into her, then I at least wanna give her a hug and tell her that I’m sorry.”
He smirked. “Yeah, I can tell that you and her never got that close.”
I hooded my eyes. “Why you say that?”
“Because. Paisley got a real mean streak in her. I don’t care how friendly she came off when y’all were chopping it up. She can be a real bitch sometimes. So, when she realizes that it’s you…she’s gonna lose her mind, and you’ll be public enemy number one, in her eyes. Even if she believes that you didn’t know about her when we fucked. That won’t matter to her.”
“You might be right, but still.”
“I hear you.”
“So,” I breathed out, as I anxiously rubbed my thighs. “Does all of your siblings still live here?”
“Yeah, pretty much. There’s two sisters in college, Kira and Kele, so they’re back and forth, but still live at home because they each have kids. The oldest sister, right under me, Kita, she graduated college a year ago, and still lives at home with her baby too. Then my brother, Kareme, is fourteen, so that lil’ nigga aint going nowhere, no time soon.”
“Okay. I see your mama had a thing for naming all her kids with K’s like my mama lost her mind with the J’s. Then she finally made her last baby’s name sound more like her name.” I smiled. “Anyway, all of your sisters are getting their degrees?”
“Yeah. My old man’s name is Khamere, and she just went from there. With his bitch ass. But yes, all my sisters are gonna have degrees.” He nodded proudly. “They gon all have professions and shit. My mama still works too. She got a work-from-home job that pays pretty decent. I wanted to retire her, but she said that she’d only do that…when I have all my ducks in a row. Know what I’m saying?”
I nodded in understanding. Mama wasn’t about to fully bank on him, while he was still in the streets. “Hey, I feel her on that.Because fucking with me, you definitely gotta be ready to elevate and leave certain shit alone.”
He leered. “Is that right?”
“Yep. There’s actually a lot I can help you with, if you’re willing to be helped. Because I know that some men are too stubborn to accept that.”
“Nah,” he denied. “That aint me.”
