Page 53 of Just Listen
“Alright,” she agreed.
“Okay…can I hold her, right quick?” I found myself asking, before I could think about it.
“Uh…yeah.”
Needing to hear nothing else, I reached down into the stroller, and lifted the fat baby. Instantly, her eyes opened, and she stared at me.
No lie, my heart skipped a beat, as she gave me the cutest toothless grin.
“Aww,” Jaylah’s mama cooed. “Fat Mama is working that little spell of hers. She skins and grins with every damn body.”
I smiled. “She’s gorgeous.”
“She got your eyes,” Jaylah’s mama mentioned. “Because those damn sho aint ours.”
I examined the baby’s light brown eyes, and then her nose, and lips. She looked just like my niece, and that acknowledgment caused something to rumble in my stomach. This shit was real.
I guess that I was taking too long with the baby, because Jaylah eventually cleared her throat. “Okay. We gotta hit up these stores. So, hand her here.” She extended her arms out.
I cradled the baby. “I doubt that she wanna sit in that stroller. I can carry her.”
Jaylah grimaced. “Hold her? But I’m trying to shop—”
“I’ll walk with y’all.”
She briefly paused, before sighing. “Look, whatever.”
I could tell that she was a bit irritated, but I didn’t give a damn. I wasn’t quite ready to walk away, right then. So, I didn’t.
~~~Chapter 12~~~
Jaylah
“So…” My mama drawled, as she was behind the wheel of her Wraith. We’d finally pulled away from the Galleria, after spending two damn hours there. “This day has been interesting.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” I grumbled, shaking my head. “Nobody could’ve paid me to believe that I’d run into him today.”
I was really tripping out, because I honestly had every intention of living my life with my baby, without ever reaching out to Malice aka Khamere. Hell…my baby was only here due to some divine interventions.
When I told my sisters, auntie, and cousin that I wasn’t having my baby, I’d meant it. I’d even made plans to fly out to Cali for a week to get an abortion. Everybody there claimed that they were willing to go with me for moral support. So, the next day, I went to visit Zae in the hospital. Naturally, I wasn’t about to confirm my pregnancy with him. Instead, I told him that I was leaving for a week, and when I tried to walk out the door, he lost his mind.
That man had gotten out of that hospital bed, while he was still connected to all those damn devices. Everything was beeping and buzzing, as he tussled with me. I could tell that he was weak by the look in his eyes, when he suddenly collapsed. I nearly had a damn heart attack, as the staff rushed into theroom, and had to fucking resuscitate him. Zae had technically died on me, and had to be brought back.
I couldn’t describe the guilt I felt, thinking that I had caused his heart to stop working. However, it was actually due to an undetected traveling blood clot. Either way, he woke up on the same bullshit. He didn’t want me to leave his side. So much so that he asked his mama to step aside to allow me to be the one who stayed with him overnight. Then he’d become erratic whenever I’d try to leave, forcing his family to have a sidebar conversation with me. They pleaded with me to give him what he wanted, at least until he was physically out of the woods.
So, for weeks, I was stuck at that hospital with him, and barely had time to go home and grab clothes. In the meantime, my baby is growing, and one day, as I was sitting in the hospital room with Zae, I felt her kick. Perhaps that was her way of pleading her case. Reminding me that she was a whole baby in there. I don’t know.
What I did know was that there was no way that I was about to go terminate a pregnancy, after literally feeling the baby’s movements. Still, I said nothing to Zae or the rest of my family, until Zae was officially released from the hospital. Then I dropped the bomb on him, after bringing him to his mama’s house, against his objections.
Without question, Zae was devastated, and cussed me smooth the fuck out. I accepted that it was over. Then I went on to tell my parents about the baby, and also had to tell them why I didn’t want to involve my baby’s daddy. Surprisingly, even my daddy understood my position, pointing out how potentially messy the situation could be. He said that ultimately, he could be a father figure to my baby, and we didn’t need Malice or anybody he was kin to. She was ours, and that was all that mattered. Hespoke with so much conviction that he eased any doubts or fears I had at the moment.
Ironically, Zae’s devastation didn’t last too long, because he came around, claiming that he could accept the baby as his. I don’t know if it was the hormones or what, but my gullible ass was actually believing him…until he came home drunk one night. The nigga had the nerve to tell me that he’d googled that some places in New York let you abort up til twenty-four weeks. I was twenty-two. So, we could fly to New York and still get rid of the baby, before it was too late.
Needless to say, I was beyond hurt, because the nigga had been laying around, rubbing my belly, while secretly wishing that I’d get rid of my baby. Right then, I knew that the rollercoaster with Zae was officially over. Because once I had accepted having my baby in my heart, then I was doing anything to protect her. Even before she was born.
So, now, me and Zae were officially done, although he seemingly couldn’t accept it. He swore that he was ready to be a good stepdaddy. Unfortunately for him, I wasn’t desperate for someone to claim my baby, rendering his talks of us being a family fruitless.
Overall, things had been good. My family had been there for me, and I had the resources to make virtually anything happen. Since having Khari, I had practically moved back in with my parents, because they preferred keeping us close. I also had a nanny who would work at my home, as well as my parents’. So, I didn’t mourn the absence of a baby’s daddy. He simply wasn’t needed.
