Taking my purse, I was ready to get out of there, ignoring Jake’s shocked face when Stacy stopped me.
“I know what he did was terrible, but we were together a long time ago.We didn’t know we had conceived, and we had already broken up,” Stacy said.Her eyes were filled with sadness as she looked at me as if she understood my pain.“He had moved to New York and was working on his career, so I didn’t tell him.H-he found out when Ben was a year old.”
“Ben loves his father because from what I know, he talks about him every time he comes back home from his business trip,” I shook my head.“I should have known.You are either always late or miss our dates because you were with Ben.”
“Kiara, please let me explain,” Jake said, “I was meaning to tell you about this.That’s why I was going to meet them and let them know about you.Please don’t break this engage?—”
“Jake,” I tried to say without a quiver in my voice, “It istoolate.You could have told me when we went on our first date that you have a kid and I would’ve accepted you.Even before our engagement, I would have.But we are,no—weweregetting married next month, and now you have the audacity to show up and tell me you were planning to tell me that you have a son!”
Jake seemed taken aback by my outburst.
Well, what did he expect would happen?
“Don’t bother to show up at the wedding.It’sover.”
As soon as those words escaped my lips, I left the office.
Anya saw me, saw the tears glistening in my eyes, but I shook my head when she approached me.I needed to get away from Jake, even though I knew he was behind me.
Holding my elbow, Jake made me look at him, “Please, Kiara.I never meant to hurt you like this.I didn’t know how to tell you about Ben.”
I glared at him through my tears, “With your fucking mouth, Jake.You hiding this for such a long time means only one thing.I am not important for you to tell me about your son.”I wrenched my arm from his grip and managed to say, “I don’t want to marry you.”
He shook his head, but I was too busy thinking if he ever loved me.He did, I knew that, but you don’t hide such a big thing from the person you truly love.That’s why I had to tell Ethan about my anxiety through my words and leave him, because I could never tell him the truth if I had stayed.
You don’t hurt the people you love.And I had already done that.
My throat closed up as I gulped nervously and looked down at my hand, the empty ring finger.The night he had proposed to me was my twenty-fifth birthday and one of the best nights of my life.
He was watching me with those same eyes I had seen so many times, I hated it.He was pitying me.
“I’m ...I just need to leave.”I stammered, swallowing the lump in my throat and turning away from him.
I knew exactly how I was feeling.The day I saw Paul Corey on an ice cream date with Shaely.The day I saw my father and brother cry when my mother passed away.The day my brother, Karan, left for university without a word.The months without seeing my father’s face because he was grieving by drowning himself in work.The day I left Ethan, my best friend.The day I received the news that my unborn baby had died.It felt all the same.This feeling of dread, guilt and pain.So much pain.
I wanted to drown in this pit of sadness and never hurl myself out again.
I should have listened to myself.I was better off alone.Why didn’t I?This is my fault.I didn’t listen to myself, loved Jake, and now this breakup was my fault too.Thirteen-year-old Paul was smart enough to stay away from me.My mother left me alone.My brother pushed me away.My father was afraid to look at me because I reminded him of his dead wife.I pushed away Ethan and now he hates me.And now, Jake.
He saw all of it and didn’t want it.
I should’ve known.I was supposed to be smarter than this.
Why did he have to shatter my trust like this?Why did he have to ruin it?Was I not enough?Was I ever enough?
I couldn’t stop it when a sob broke out of my throat and I covered my face in my palms, my legs giving out under me.I knew I was about to fall, but I didn’t care.Strong arms held me from falling.
Jake mumbled in my ears, “Oh, honey ...please don’t cry.”
I shook my head, more tears falling out, “Don’t touch me, Jacob.Pleasedon’t.”
My shoulders shook with heart-wrenching sobs.“I don’t want to see you or touch you.Just ...go away.”
Jake’s eyes turned grim when he looked at my tear-stricken face, “Kiara ...please, don’t do this.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as more tears leaked out, hearing the small tremble in his voice.That hurt me as much as what he did, what he had already done.
“You don’t hide things like this from the people you love, Jake.Why did you do this?”I asked as more sobs threatened to pierce through my throat.