Page 102 of Stolen Hearts
“Thank you.”
My arm is so heavy I’m barely able to reach for the clothes. I pull the vest over my head before standing up to remove the towel and put the shorts on.
“I’m sorry,” I say, sitting back down on the bed.
“For what?” Alexander moves forward to kneel in front of me, meeting my line of vision. The warmth from his blue eyes meets the coldness in mine.
“For ruining our first date. For putting you out this evening.”
The guilt for imposing myself on him consumes me. Nothing ever seems to be easy of straightforward when it comes to us.
“Don’t be stupid.” The lavender scent from his hands hits my nostrils as he lifts my head up. “There will be plenty more opportunities for us to go on a date. And you’re not putting me out at all. Let’s get you into bed.”
Alexander stands back up and pulls back the duvet to let me in.
“Thank you.” It’s all I can say.
But what I want to say is,Thank you for helping me.
For showing up.
For being so kind and caring.
For helping stop the seeds of doubt in my mind that all you care about is yourself.
Alexander grabs the pill off the side table along with the water.
“Take this. It will help you to sleep.”
I’m too tired to question what Alexander gives me as I swallow it down with a gulp of water.
“Rest up.” He kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Wednesday
“Happy belated birthday.”
I put all the joy I can muster into my voice as the call connects. Kelly’s face appears on-screen, looking less than impressed that I’d completely forgotten her birthday in the wake of everything that happened.
“Umm hmm.” Her tone is dismissive as she potters around her kitchen in an oversized jumper. “My present arrived late too.” She lifts up a hamper from the kitchen counter to show it to the screen, which includes a load of face creams, moisturizers, and other items from Jo Malone that I knew she would like.
Little does she know that it would have been two days late if Alexander hadn’t stepped in and gotten a courier to pick up the package from the store and deliver it to her when no express delivery options were available on the website. His small act of kindness made me want to cry all over again. But this time, they were tears of happiness, rather than the tears I’ve been shedding over Andrew.
Is this what it feels like to be cared for? To be loved?
My parents were neither the loving nor the caring type. They’d always opted for tough love, expecting more and giving less. They were put out if they had to take care for me or my sister when we were ill. I can’t even really compare this to the feeling of loving someone, because I’ve only been in love once before, with Ryan.
But that was blind love.
That was idealism, excitement.
The immaturity that comes with being naive and young.
This feels different.
I snap myself back into the room before getting carried away by my thoughts. It’s too early in whatever this is to be thinking about the L-word.
“What did you do for your birthday?” I feel bad for not recalling if she told me what she was up to. I’ve not been able to recall or retain much of anything in the blur of the last three days.
