Page 86 of Just Watch Me
When he finally moved to roll off her, she said, “No. Stay.” So shewascapable of forming words.
He must be on an elbow, because his weight was less, but he was still there. A hand pulling her hair back from her face, another kiss on her temple. She said, “I love it when you do that. When you kiss my face.”
“Mm,” he said, and did it again. “We slipped up, eh.”
“Yes.” She sighed. “And I don’t care.”
“Our secret,” he said.
“Yes.” It was all she could manage.
“Doesn’t have to be secret, of course. Not if we don’t want it to be. Because I’m going to want to do this again.”
Oh. They weretalking. Pity. She didn’t want to talk. “I know,” she said. “But it’s … it’s late. And I … I don’t know.”Whether I can handle this,she didn’t say.I’m too raw right now. I don’t even know what I feel. I just know it’s too much.
A change in his voice, then. “Your choice, of course. And I didn’t use a condom.”
“Oh.” A lurch of fear. “I … I should be OK. It’s not the right time. Or not the wrong time, I guess.” Now, she did get to her knees, and groped for the couch, too. She’d have groped for her clothes, but she had no idea where they were.
Zane was beside her now, pulling the throw over their bodies. The night was cold, because there was no heat. She felt it now as she hadn’t before, or maybe that was the fear.
“Oi,” he said, groping for her hand, then lacing his fingersthrough hers. “If anything happens, we’ll cope. We both know how.”
“Y-yes.” If only she could ever recognize what she felt at the time she was feeling it! “I know you’re right. Of course. I know. And I—I guess I don’t have to tell you that I couldn’t have a disease. As I haven’t?—”
“Oh, bugger,” he said. “Oh, bloody hell.”
“What?” Serious alarm now. What? He had an STI?You’re joking,she wanted to say, but who would joke about that?
“It was your first time since your husband died,” he said. “Wasn’t it? You’ve said something like that.”
“Well, yeh.” She pushed at her hair, confused again. “Why?”
He groaned. She was still totally confused, but when he said, “Because I’m meant to do it better than that, your first time. Not on the floor, anyway, and not more or less like a wild animal”—well, she had to laugh, didn’t she?
“Zane,” she said, “do you actually imagine I’ve had better sex than that?”
“What?” He was the one confused now, wasn’t he? Unfortunately, she couldn’t see him.
She liked it when he put his hand on her face, so now, she put her hand on his. It landed on his nose first, but points for effort, maybe. “You were brilliant,” she said, her heart squeezing, for some stupid reason. She kissed him on the shoulder for good measure. She’d have kissed his cheek, but it was hard to reach. “Although I think I have a bit of carpet burn on my elbows and knees.”
“Shit,” he said. “Sorry. Like I said, I?—”
She was still laughing, somehow. “Nah, boy. I’ll take that carpet burn. And I think I can sleep now. Maybe you can, too.”
“Yeh.” He was smiling, she thought. “I reckon I can. And Skylar?”
“Yes?”
“You’re one hell of a woman,” he said. “So you know.”
33
SENSE RETURNS
Skylar rose to consciousness slowly. A moment of disorientation, first, that the ceiling was different. There was a long crack in the paint up there like a lightning bolt, and she blinked at it in confusion. Also, her body felt … unusual. She pushed herself up to sitting and groaned a little, because everything hurt, like she’d done the workout from hell the day before. She was also a bit sore in the …
She was just remembering the “why” of all that when the bedroom door opened and Jade breezed in. “Oh, good,” she said. “You’re awake.”
