Page 45 of Hard to Hold
I nodded, understanding. “I get it. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone. It’s really not my business.”
Wolfe turned to face me, his arm sliding behind my head, over the seat back, his hand brushing my neck. He tilted his head forward, holding my gaze with such intensity it stole my breath.
“I guarantee, darlin’, it’s not what you think.”
I held my breath, silently willing him to tell me. There was a tiny ray of hope lingering deep inside, although I had no idea where it had come from or why it was there.
His touch, his mere presence, was so comforting I wished it could be different. I'd never thought I'd want anything to do with another man after the hell I'd been through, but when I was with Wolfe and Rhys, I felt safe, cared for.
Then again, Wolfe was my boss. My friend.
And here I was pushing for something that I couldn’t have, no matter what I wished for. I wasn’t at a place in my life where I could share anything about myself, and Wolfe deserved to have someone who could be honest with him. He’d been nothing but honest with me, and I couldn’t return it.
On top of that, I wasn’t sure I was ready for anything as serious as a relationship. It seemed I'd been under someone’s thumb my entire life, and I wasn’t interested in doing that again. Wasn’t sure I ever would be.
“It’s okay,” I told him, leaning into his touch slightly as I reached for the door handle. “Thanks for today. I hope we can do it again.”
Wolfe nodded, but he didn’t say anything. I noticed how his eyes dropped to my mouth, and for a second, I thought he might kiss me. Instead, he pulled back, put both hands on the steering wheel again.
“I’ll see you at Reagan’s tonight.”
“Okay.” Not wanting to make things any more uncomfortable than I already had, I hopped out of the truck and shut the door quickly.
The hair on the back of my neck prickled as I walked to my front porch. Rather than look around like a scaredy-cat, I shored up my nerve and went right for the door. If Wolfe hadn’t been there, I probably would’ve walked around the house a few times, peered in the windows to ensure nothing had been tampered with. I didn’t think he’d found me yet, but I knew he would eventually. If he’d figured out that I wasn’t dead, he would try to find me.
Swallowing against the lump of fear in my throat, I inserted the key into the lock and twisted. Forcing a smile, I turned to look back at Wolfe. He was watching me. I offered a quick wave and then slipped inside, my heart thumping painfully in my chest. Closing the door, I leaned up against it and strained to listen for any unusual noises. My eyes darted around the room, taking it all in. I didn’t notice anything out of place. The throw pillows were still in the same position on my couch, the coaster holding last night’s glass of water still on the coffee table, my sandals still tucked underneath.
With the air conditioner on and my clothes still damp, a chill ran through me.
I needed to take a shower. Not only to warm up but also because I had to be at work in a couple of hours.
Surely I could get through a couple of hours alone without having another panic attack. It shouldn’t be too hard considering I could relive today over and over again. Hands down, today had been the best day I'd had in years.
Granted, I was going to have to tamp down the anticipation of seeing Wolfe or Rhys again. It wasn’t going to do me any good, and if this crush I had on the two men turned into something more, I was in for some serious heartache.
I had been through enough.
That was the last damn thing I needed.
Wolfe
I watched as Amy disappeared inside her house. I should’ve put the truck in gear and pulled back down the gravel driveway, but I couldn’t seem to do it.
I'd hated seeing the disappointment in her eyes when I turned her down. Hell, I would’ve given my left nut to go inside that house, but I honestly didn’t trust myself. It’d been a hell of a day, one that had tested my patience. Spending the better part of it with Amy and Rhys had been more than I could stand. Not in a bad way, of course. But I wasn’t a damn saint. I could only handle so much. And the temptation they presented was too much. It made me want things, crave things. Need things. Truth was, I had no business going down that road. Not yet.
“Fuck.” I twisted my hands on the steering wheel, staring out the front windshield. “Go home, Caine. You’ll see her tonight. Go. The fuck. Home.”
I turned off the truck.
I got out.
I walked right up to Amy’s front door.
I knocked.
And when she opened the door, I nearly fell to my knees at her feet.
Her big brown eyes stared back at me, confusion etched on her pretty features.
