Page 68 of To Have and To Hold
Rebecca Richter lit up a room whenshe smiled.
Unfortunately, it seemed whenever he walked into said room and Becs was there, her smile instantly faded.
Like now.
Evan pretended not to notice that her shoulders tensed and her gaze shifted along with her disappearing smile. Healsopretended not to notice the shade thrown his way by everyone else because, of course, he worked with a team of investigators who had a keen sense of their surroundings. As though they noticed the room was now dimmer with him in it, and they knew he was directly responsible because he was an asshole.
God, he was an asshole.
He knew he should’ve found a way to stay in the field this afternoon. As it was, he was finding every excuse to stay away but since they weren’t taking on anything this week, he was having to work for it.
Keeping his feet moving, Evan made his way to his desk. Not that it helped because the new seating arrangement put him directly across from Becs. Since she would be working directly with them whenever they had an active case, it was Baz’s bright idea to have her sit with them.
Feeling eyes on him, Evan peered around and sighed when he realized Atticus was watching him.
“What?” he prompted, though he kept some bite in his tone. It was his not-so-subtle way of telling everyone to keep their distance.
“You cool?”
Evan’s eyes swung to Becs. She was pretending not to hear their conversation.
“Yeah.” He looked at Atticus. “You?”
“Yup.”
“Good.”
“Good,” Atticus echoed, chuckling.
Where was Slade when you needed him? Evan knew that Slade’s presence would pretty much turn Atticus into a wallflower, too.
Grabbing his pen, he stared at the notepad in front of him as though he actually had something to jot down. He didn’t. And even if he did, he’d long forgotten what it was because now his thoughts had drifted to the last time Becs was at his house. She’d been in his office, soft and warm beneath him as they made out like teenagers.
His body stirred to life as it did whenever he thought about that night. Which was far too much for his peace of mind. There was rarely a time when he wasn’t thinking about Becs, about how he wished he hadn’t taken the high road that day. How he wished he’d simply taken what she was freely offering. He could’ve stripped them both and slid into the blessed heat of her beautiful body. He could’ve stayed there for hours.
He hadn’t done that, though, because he knew what would’ve happened. He knew it would’ve encouraged Becs’s feelings for him, and Evan did not want to be the one to break her heart. Which he would’ve done. Morning would’ve come, and while he had no doubt he would’ve walked away a different man, he still would’ve walked away.
Evan didn’t want to be that guy.
At the same time, he didn’t want to bethisguy either. The one who pretended he wouldn’t give just about anything for a few minutes with her. Quiet minutes. Just the two of them. Alone in a dimly lit room. Naked.
A hand landed on his back, rattling his teeth in his head.
“What’s up?” Slade asked, his tone far too chipper for the early afternoon.
“Not a damn thing,” Evan muttered and scribbled some nonsense on the notepad because he realized he’d been staring at it for far too long.
“I noticed.” Slade took a seat at his desk, but he popped right back up like there was a spring in his chair. “What d’ya say we get outta here for a bit? I’ve got some details I’d like to follow up on.”
Evan didn’t even hesitate. He grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone and got to his feet. He was proud of himself for not looking at Becs as he started for the door. Even prouder that he managed to make it outside without so much as glancing her way.
It wasn’t until he was in his car that he realized that wasn’t pride he was feeling.
It was cowardice.
God, he was an asshole.
Chapter Eighteen
