Page 26 of To Have and To Hold
Atticus leaned forward, relaxing as much as possible because, though it hurt, he didn’t want Slade to stop. He’d dreamed about this for the past four weeks. What was funny was, though increasingly erotic, not one of those dreams came close to being as incredible as this moment.
Slade spit again, easing the way, and then he was buried to the hilt, stretching Atticus’s hole as he filled him. It felt different, better than anything he’d ever felt before, but Atticus wasn’t sure why that was. Was he that turned on? It was possible.
Seconds felt like an eternity as pleasure annihilated him. The more Slade fucked him, the easier it became, and that was when Atticus realized the difference. Slade wasn’t wearing a condom, meaning Slade’s pre-cum was helping to ease the way, allowing for mind-numbing friction to erase all discomfort. His hands were hard, holding Atticus in place as he fucked him. Hard. Fast. Deep. So goddamn deep.
The thought of Slade barebacking him was too much for his mind to process. For whatever reason, the idea of Slade being the very first man he’d been with without the barrier of latex was so erotic that he lost his grip on his control. His orgasm barreled down on him with barely enough warning for Atticus to grab his cock so he could come in his fist. He didn’t have time to do anything more than shout and grunt.
A second later, Slade slammed into him, his arms banding around Atticus’s torso as he came deep inside him.
***
“That was … unexpected,” Slade said, leaning againstAtticus, pressing a kiss to his neck.
“Definitely.”
“Did I hurt you?”
Atticus’s voice was strained when he said, “No.”
“But I’m crushin’ you now, huh?”
Atticus chuckled. “Maybe a little.”
Slade started to pull out, reaching down to secure the condom, and that was when he realized he wasn’t wearing one.
“Oh, fuck. Atticus, I—”
“No condom,” Atticus said. “I know. It’s okay.”
“I’m clean,” Slade assured him as he pulled out, then tugged Atticus down on the couch with him, spooning behind him. He wasn’t ready to let him go. Not to mention, he wasn’t sure his legs were steady enough to hold him up.
“I haven’t been with anyone since you,” Slade continued, unable to stop rambling. “And I swear to you, I’ve never done that before. I was tested earlier this year. For everything. I’m clean. And I’m negative. ”
Dammit. How the fuck did he let this happen? Being safe was always his number one priority. Considering his promiscuous lifestyle, it was the only way he knew to do things.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, the guilt weighing heavily on him.
Atticus covered his arm with his own, holding him. “I’m negative, too. I’ve got a full work-up from when I went to training. I haven’t been with anyone.”
Slade wouldn’t pretend that didn’t offer some comfort. Not only had Atticus not been with anyone else, but he was tested regularly, and he was HIV-negative.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Slade admitted.
“I did.” Atticus laughed. “The sex part, at least. The lack of condom … not the smartest thing, but it damn sure felt good.”
Smiling, he kissed Atticus’s shoulder. “Good to know.”
They remained like that for several minutes, catching their breaths as the volcanic eruption from moments ago settled.
“You and Carson didn’t…?”
Slade relaxed. “No. We tried dinner, but it didn’t work out.”
“Why not?”
Slade shrugged. He honestly couldn’t answer that. He’d thought about Carson a lot since that night. He’d been riddled with guilt for days, hating himself for not giving Carson a chance to say whatever he needed to say. But then he ridiculed himself for taking that on because it wasn’t his fault. If Carson hadn’t treated him the way he had, there would be no need for explanation or apology.
“Haveyoutalked to him?” Slade asked, already fearing the answer.
