Page 27 of Envy
He denied it was him with me in that video, and that implied I’d cheated on him with someone else. That betrayal hurt almost as much as when he sent such a private moment to his friends to watch, as if I were nothing more than his latest conquest.
I was so hurt, and embarrassed, and alone. The whole school ganged up on me, and the one person who was supposed to love me helped them do it. The guilt that was written all over his face when I caught him lying confirmed so much to me.
Billy said Wyatt had sent the video to everyone. How could I give Wyatt the benefit of the doubt after that?
I pulled the phone Wyatt gave me out of my pocket and threw it against the wall as hard as I could. I vaguely remember hearing it smashing to pieces when it hit and fell to the floor. But I’d already started running and didn’t stop until I was out of breath, miles from the school. I don’t even know where I went. Wherever I was, I dropped to my knees and threw up again.
Someone must have called my mom because the next thing I knew, she was picking me up off the ground and helping me into the car. She took me home and cleaned me up. I remember she gave me a couple of pills to calm my hysterics. When I could speak again, I explained what happened…I told her every sordid detail.
She packed a bag for all of us, and we left our house. I barely remember getting in the car and balling up in a fetal position in the backseat. When we reached her sister’s house, she took me straight to the spare bedroom and put me in the bed. She cried and held me all day and night.
My dad came in later that evening and held us both in his arms. None of us slept a wink all night. When the sun started to come up, Dad said he didn’t want me to go back to that school. I wholeheartedly agreed, but with graduation only a month away, I couldn’t very well quit school.
Dad had already talked to the guidance counselor, explained the situation, and they worked out a plan for me to finish my last month as a homebound student. I didn’t have to face anyone that way. I didn’t have to talk to anyone. No one could taunt me. I’d cut off all communication with the outside world. Only the guidance counselor had my new address, and all my work was handled through the mail. I didn’t walk in graduation. I didn’t give my valedictorian speech.
You’d think that was the worst of it, right? Starring in your own porn video that was forwarded to everyone in the school for their viewing enjoyment.
But you’d be wrong.
The worst of it all came later, pushing me deeper into depression and despair. I could barely function, but I had to be there for my mom. You see, my father was the most loving man in the world. His family was his pride and joy. So, seeing me ready to give up on life hurt him more than he could stand.
Wyatt interrupts my tirade and forces me to face him. His hands are on my shoulders, and he shakes me softly. “Megan, can you hear me?”
I blink and look up at him. “What?”
“I need you to talk directlytome. I’m here with you. Don’t shut me out now. You said your father was the most loving man. What do you mean ‘was’?”
“He was so distraught over that video and how it hurt me. He couldn’t fix the situation. He couldn’t fix me. He couldn’t provide for his family. He couldn’t protect us from the terrible people in the world.
“The stress of it all was too much for his health. His blood pressure was out of control, and we didn’t have money for the medication he needed, and he wouldn’t accept any help from my aunt. He thought we’d imposed on her enough by moving in with her. He suffered a stroke and died about two months after we left Savannah.”
Wyatt reacts like I sucker punched him in the gut, falling to the couch in stunned silence. I remember feeling that way when we rushed Daddy to the hospital and waited for the emergency room doctor to give us the terrible news.
“My mom and aunt had left early that morning to get groceries. I walked out of my room and found Daddy. He was sitting in the recliner, unconscious, unresponsive. I screamed and shook him and begged him to wake up. Then I dialed 911 and explained his condition. Mom arrived just as they were loading him in the back of the ambulance. Shock set in on the way to the hospital because I knew…I knew he was gone.”
“Megan…baby…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I never knew…”
“I know you didn’t, because I made sure of it. Christine was still my best friend, but I couldn’t even talk to her about any of it. I shut everyone out of my life.”
Wyatt buries his face in his hands while he tries to absorb my father’s death and the causes behind it.
“I hadn’t planned to tell you the next part, but I need to…you’re entitled to know and I can’t keep it all bottled up inside me anymore. It’s been killing me slowly, day by day.”
Wyatt looks up at me with haunted eyes. “Is it worse than your dad dying?”
“It’s just as bad.”
“Tell me. I won’t leave you to carry the burden alone for one more second.”
“After we left Savannah and moved in at my aunt’s house, I found out I was pregnant. At first, I didn’t even realize my period was late. All the stress…all the tears…the days I lost in a deep depression. Mom came in my room and demanded I get up and finish my finals early that week. She said I hadn’t worked so hard for that scholarship to throw it all away over a boy.
“So, I sat at the small desk and thumbed through my calendar, looking at the dates each final was due and realized I hadn’t marked when my last period was. Then it hit me that Ihadwritten down the last one…I just hadn’t had one recently. I finished all my finals during that one day because I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus after what I had to do next.
“My dad had found work on a small farm nearby and left early in the mornings. My aunt owned her own business and hired my mom as a cashier. When they left for work the next morning, I walked to the drug store and bought a pregnancy test. But I knew it would be positive before I even took the test.”
“Did you abort our baby?” Wyatt whispers, his voice strained.
“No, I didn’t…I miscarried. I lost our baby. I’d been nauseous a lot before I took the test. That was another clue I was more than only stressed. Then I couldn’t keep anything down, day or night. When I finally told my parents I was pregnant a couple of days after I took the test, my mom said she already knew. She took me to the doctor, and they were concerned with my weight loss. They did an ultrasound, and there was no heartbeat. The baby had already died.
