Page 25 of Envy
“What was the last straw?”
“I don’t know why I’m telling you anything. You won’t understand, but if you really want to know...”
“I do.”
“I watched the chairman of the board walk out with his wife. They were holding hands and kissing. They were close. He bragged about their recent wedding anniversary over dinner. I heard a small voice in my head whisper, telling me I’ll never have that. Then the room started closing in on me, and I had to get out.”
“Why do you think you’ll never have that, Megan?” His eyes search mine, trying to read my thoughts and touch my soul again. I want to let him because that would be easier than verbally answering his question.
“You broke me in so many ways, Wyatt,” I whisper, pain infused in my tone. “I’ll never have what they have because I’ll never love another person again. I’ll never let them love me. My heart wasn’t just broken—it died. There is no love in me to give.”
Shock and anguish cover his handsome face. He opens his mouth to respond but then stops himself. He’s trying to find the perfect response, but there’s not one. “Megan,” he says with a sigh. “Baby.”
Perfect timing, the waitress arrives with our pizza and halts all conversation. When she leaves us again, we both stare at the slices without moving.
“I want you to promise me something, Megan,” he starts, rife with agony. “There’s so much we need to talk about. This restaurant is not the place. Promise me you’ll give me the time to talk to you later. Swear it, or I swear you’ll never leave this booth.”
“Is it really worth rehashing everything, Wyatt? Isn’t it time we both moved on and lived our lives?”
He raises his head to look me directly in the eye. “Hell, yes, it’s worth it.You’reworth it.We’reworth it. Promise me.”
“All right. I promise.”
He serves the first slice to me then fills his plate. After his third bite, he puts his slice down and purposely glares at mine that’s still untouched then up at me. “I said I wanted to talk about your eating habits, didn’t I?”
“You did, but we don’t have to.”
“No, we do have to. Why do you skip several meals in a row? You said you were hungry, but now you’re not eating.”
I pick up my slice and take a bite. “Happy now? I’m eating.”
“I know how to pick my battles, so I’ll take that for now. If I have to bring you every meal to make you eat, I’ll gladly do it.”
“I don’t need you to rescue me. I obviously eat, or I wouldn’t even be alive.”
He finishes off the entire pizza besides the one slice I ate. Before he lets me slide out of the booth, I have to promise I’d show up at his apartment the next day and stay as long as it takes to sort through everything that went wrong between us. I have a feeling once I enter his apartment, hell barricade the doors and windows so I can’t run from him again.
He walks me back to my apartment building, and I immediately have regrets about making that promise to him. It feels a lot like when he used to walk me to my classes. Talking to him seems too natural. His company is too easy to enjoy. But he said he had a lot to tell me about that time, and I have a lot to tell him about immediately after everything blew up at school.
Although, he’ll probably regret asking for this little talk after I tell him everything I have to share. At least we’ll both have closure…one way or another. Knowing this soul-baring time will take all day, I did something else I haven’t done in the last ten years.
I schedule a day off and alert my team of my absence via email.
Tomorrow will be emotionally draining and painful.
