Page 69 of Completely Captivated
“I’m serious, Christa.I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Maybe because you were way too drunk to be out alone, much less coming to my apartment at that time of night.”
“I went to your apartment last night?”He furrowed his brow and scraped his hands across his face.“Put a Bible in front of me, I will swear on a stack of them I don’t remember that at all.”
I recounted the entire scene, from the time he knocked on my door to when Aaron slept on my couch because I didn’t want to be alone.
His slightly green complexion paled to nearly translucent white by the time I finished.His guest slid out the door at some point during our mostly one-sided conversation.When the door clicked shut, Jared didn’t even look up to acknowledge her departure.
When he finally did raise his head, the ice around my heart melted a minuscule amount.Tears dropped from his eyes and ran down his cheeks.He didn’t wipe them away, and the pain radiated from his eyes when he met my unaffected gaze.
“I’m so sorry.Normally, I’d say you were crazy for even thinking I’d do anything to hurt you—physically or emotionally.But apparently, I’d be wrong.The last thing I remember was meeting my buddy from school for a few drinks.A couple of beers turned into a lot of shots.
“How can I fix this?How can I fix us?We’ve been friends forever.I can’t lose you like this.”
“Who was the girl here with you?What was her name?”
He wiped his face and stared at the floor for several seconds.“I don’t know.I don’t even remember where I met her or how we got here.”
“Jared, I think you have a drinking problem, and you need to seek help for it.I watched my mother succumb to her addiction demons for years.You’re headed down the same road, and you’ll find out too late that the bridge is out.”
He started to protest, saying he was simply having a good time with friends, then promptly stopped himself.“You’re right.I never would’ve done the things you said I did if I hadn’t been so fucked up.Knowing I hurt you like that tears me up inside.”He paused and took a few seconds to look deeply into my eyes.“I love you.I hate myself for putting you in this position.This is a selfish question, so I’ll apologize now for asking.Will you stand by me while I get help?”
“I will support you and cheer you on from the sidelines.”
That was the best I could give him under the circumstances.I’d decided on the way to his condo our lifelong friendship had come to an end.But seeing him so broken tugged on my nostalgic heartstrings.If he genuinely sought help and completed a substance abuse program, we might be able to salvage our friendship.
He showered, and we went to his parents’ house together—but in separate vehicles—to break the news to them.He had a loving and supportive family to help him through whatever he faced.I left them to talk about his options as a family.I had enough problems of my own to sort out.
By the time I finished running errands on my only day off, the sun had started to set.Then I was alone in my apartment and staring at my phone.
No call.
No text.
No word from Aaron all day.
Where could he be?
I remembered I never opened the letter he left beside my breakfast.In my hurry to tear Jared a new one, I’d completely neglected to read what Aaron had to say.
My love—
I remember the night I spent making love to your body before we actually had sex.The scent of your arousal.The softness of your skin.The taste of your kiss.
I remember everything about you.You have the biggest heart and give love without fear of rejection.You have the most beautiful soul and the most gorgeous personality.I hope you never change, regardless of what happens with us.
Day Sixty-Seven: I love how you lick your bottom lip when you want me but you’re too embarrassed to tell me.It’s sexy as fuck.
Forever yours,
Aaron
Isat at the table, reading and rereading the letter, soaking in every word.I felt his hands on me.I heard his breaths in my ear.I craved the way he licked and bit the tender skin on my neck.
My God, I missed my husband so much.
Safe and Secure
