Page 30 of Wicked Shadows
9
CHAPTER NINE
Five Years Earlier
“Elle, you know how much I love you, right?”
“I know you love me when you want something. What is it this time? My shoes? My brand-new gray ostrich leather Hermes purse that I haven’t even used yet? Spill it.”
Beth’s devilish grin made Elle stop dead in her tracks. “Dear God. What have you done? I’ll be forced to kill you any minute now, won’t I?”
Beth dismissed the threat with a shrug of her shoulder and the broadening of her smile. “I may have let it slip to Bruce and Josh that you’re single. Josh may have expressed considerable interest in changing your relationship status. Bruce may have suggested we go out on a double date this weekend so you can give Josh a chance. Josh and Bruce may have already made plans for the four of us.”
“No.” The firm tone of Elle’s rebuttal contradicted her normal demeanor, catching Beth off guard even after years of being at her best friend’s side. “Beth, you know better than to set me up on a date with anyone. I’m not interested, and I won’t go out just for the sake of going and then have our pictures splashed across the front page of every rag magazine. You know how vicious they can be. I can’t believe you’d do that to me.”
Elle’s hands shook, her voice quavered, and her heart raced. She was angry with Beth and her boyfriend of the month, Bruce, for being so presumptuous and cavalier with her career. But she didn’t want to face the deeper underlying reasons fanning the flames of her anger. At that moment, she found it was easier—safer—to place the brunt of it squarely on Beth’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Elle. You know I’d never hurt you. It hurts me to see you pining your life away for a man who obviously doesn’t feel the same about you. It’s been three years since you started this insane relationship with him in Miami. It’s not even a relationship.” Beth search for the right word, and her agitation grew with each passing second. “It’s anarrangementto benefit him! He just happens to show up out of the blue, and you drop everything to spend a few weeks with him. Then he leaves again, and you don’t hear from him for several months.
“Think about it, Elle. Who’s here to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart when he kills every hope and dream you have? Me. I’m the one who loves you and shows you every single day. How could you even think for a second I’d do anything to hurt you?”
The verbal slap from Beth’s words didn’t sting nearly as much as knowing she was right did. A vision of all the times Beth had stayed up all night, whispered comforting words, and kept her arm wrapped around Elle until they’d both fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion flashed through Elle’s mind. Beth had been her best friend for more years than not, had been with her through the best and worst moments of her life, and had only ever shown loyalty.
“Beth, I—”
“You know what? Save it. Bruce and I have a date tonight, but I think I’ll just go to his place instead of him coming here. Don’t wait up for me.”
With that, Beth stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door behind her. Elle sank down onto the couch, bent at the waist, and rested her face in her hands. As usual, Beth called it like she saw it—no holds barred, no sugarcoating, and no excuses. Almost every other time Beth had interjected, her frankness had been Elle’s saving grace. The exception to the rule was when the discussion involved anything remotely related to Devon.
“Beth, I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right,” she confessed to the empty apartment. “Everything in my life fades to background noise when Devon shows up. It’s not even a conscious choice that I make. Every time there’s a knock at the door, my heart races and thumps like a bass drum because I hope he’s there. I look for him everywhere I go, hoping he’ll appear out of thin air.
“And you know what else? I wouldn’t even question it if he did. I’d just beso fucking happythat he was beside me, the reason why wouldn’t matter. I guess that creates another question, doesn’t it? I’m so in love with him. I’m so happy to get a few weeks with him now and then, I don’t ever question why that’s all I get. Why do I settle for less than I want or deserve?”
Even though she couldn’t say the words to Beth, she believed getting the thoughts out of her head and into the open was a step in the right direction. She looked up, dried her tears with her fingers, and released an exasperated breath. A rap on the door caused her to jump, then her eyes dropped to the side table where Beth’s keys laid. She’d stomped out of the apartment in such a huff, she didn’t grab her keys first.
“I’m glad you forgot your keys,” Elle called out through the closed door. She swung the door open wide and held the forgotten keys out in the palm of her hand.
“You haven’t given me any keys,” Devon replied with a sexy smirk. His eyes traveled up and down her body, drinking in every inch, branding her without a single touch. “But whatever you’re offering, I certainly won’t refuse.”
She squeezed her fist around the keys. The sharp metal tips bit into her skin, but all she felt was complete exhilaration that he was there. The initial ardent expression in his gaze, the sexy timbre of his voice, and the confident air he projected create the ultimate lady-killer package. But the way he looked at her when his eyes softened said he never wanted to leave her. When his arms snaked around her waist and held her tightly against him, he revealed he’d missed her every bit as much as she’d missed him. The way he buried his face in her hair and deeply inhaled her scent exposed his vulnerable side, the one that wanted to hide away with her and never be found.
This is why I can never refuse him, she reflected.This is what keeps me coming back for more. Every. Single. Time.
Still holding her in their intimate embrace, he gently pushed her backward until they’d walked into the apartment and locked the door behind them. Time passed while they clung to one another, but neither was prepared—or capable—of letting go. He returned with a different demeanor each time. Just as she never knew when to expect him to show up, she also had no idea what kind of mood he’d be in.
When he returned sullen and quiet, she automatically knew his only solace was found in her touch. For the first few days, while he worked through whatever weighed on his mind, she’d learned not to move out of his reach. Though she had no idea what drove his need, she knew he needed the closeness their physical contact provided.
On the rare occasions when he was agitated and easily annoyed upon his reappearance, he took his dominance in the bedroom to a stratospheric level. His commands were direct and without mirth. He expected and accepted nothing less than full submission from her. She complied with his instructions the moment they were spoken, offered more than he requested, and bit her tongue. Once he’d worked through what bothered him, he became more like himself again, albeit a more subdued version.
As she stood there in his embrace, she tried to assess his frame of mind. His sexy, playful remark when she opened the door more resembled his usual demeanor. But the way he held her signaled something was different. Something had happened that affected him deeply.
“What are you thinking about, Devon? What’s bothering you?” Her tone urged him to talk to her, to share a part of his life she knew nothing about.
His arms tightened around her in response.
“You have to let me in. Iwantto be part of your life.”
“Darlin’, believe me when I say, you’re thebestpart of my life.” Though his voice was partially muffled, the sincerity of his words flowed through her, filling her with hope. He lifted her with ease, held her tightly against his chest, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He sat on the couch and adjusted her position without releasing his hold. He raised his head, met her questioning eyes, and felt compelled to share what he could.
