Page 52 of Wicked Shadows
When she’d opened her eyes after her nap, Devon was the first person she saw. His proximity was the protective and calming presence she needed. There was never a time when he didn’t hold a special place in her heart, in one way or another. And there wasn’t a day she wanted to pass without him in it. The clarity she had was refreshing; the vision she had of their future was bright.
She knew who she wanted, needed, and loved. It was time for Devon to admit the same.
The cab ride back to her apartment was a stark contrast from the laid-back atmosphere of the island. Despite how long she’d lived in LA, she was amazed at how easily she adapted to St. Lucia and the privacy it afforded. The packed LA interstates, with all the angry drivers and crowded lanes, assaulted the island tranquility she brought home with her.
Devon carried her bags up to the apartment, walking behind her as she fished her keys from her purse. She breezed in, quickly reacclimating to the four walls with city-street-view accommodations she called home.
“Beth, we’re back. Are you here?” Elle moved through the small living space, looking for but not finding her best friend. “Looks like we have the place to ourselves.”
Devon gave her a small smile and set her suitcases down beside where he stood. It was then she realized he didn’t have his own bags in his hands. She began shaking her head from side to side, fighting back the lump in her throat and the tears in her eyes.
Unsuccessfully.
In a couple of steps, he stood directly in front of her and began his prepared speech. He kept reminding himself his decision was best for her. He’d put her in enough danger. He’d risked her safety too many times. He’d wasted enough of her time.
His big hand cupped her cheek, and she leaned into it. The tears spilled over her bottom lids and covered her face. She didn’t bother to wipe them away—they wouldn’t stop anytime soon.
“Elle, I should’ve told you this a long time ago, but I couldn’t. I’ve selfishly tried to hold on to you, and to keep you holding on to me. You deserve better—you deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted.”
His other hand covered her other cheek and held her gaze directly on his face. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, longingly, hauntingly. When he pulled back, he finally muttered the words that would release her. She’d finally know the truth.
“I love you, Elle. More than my life. More than anyone or anything. I’ll love you and only you, all my life. You’re my girl—forever.”
Her heart disintegrated.
He released his hold on her and backed away. With his hand on the doorknob, he pulled it shut as he backed into the corridor. The symbolic wall separated them. The door had literally been shut. She no longer questioned his feelings for her or how much he loved her. But he had to walk away. He had to give her her life back, no matter how much it killed him to live without her, without the anticipation of seeing her again, without the thrill of making love to her again.
He slid into the back seat of the waiting taxi and rode back to LAX. To the gate with the Miami-bound flight. To the only life he’d ever really known.
To a quiet condo.
With an ocean view that reminded him of Elle.
To a cold, empty bed that only taunted him with a chance to sleep but not exactly delivering on that promise.
And to a life of loneliness and emptiness in the wicked shadows of what once might have been.
* * *
The door closedbetween them with Elle frozen where she stood. Though she’d known and felt a major shift in his demeanor, she ignored her instincts, all the red flags her heart tried to warn her about. Unable to move, she waited where he left her standing, hoping he’d return on his own.
She had no idea how much time had passed when the door finally began to swing open. Hope sprang up in her chest, ratcheting her heart rate up as excitement and anticipation grew. She waited to see his handsome face, read his thoughts behind his dark blue eyes, and lose herself when his muscular arms wrapped her in the safety of his embrace.
“Elle? What’s wrong? What happened?” The questions rushed from Beth the moment she saw the despondent expression on her friend’s face. The tears flowed freely down Elle’s cheeks, leaving tracks in her makeup.
Afraid to tear her eyes from Elle in her current condition, Beth made a quick glance around the apartment and spotted the suitcases still sitting beside Elle. Then she knew whatever had caused the current dilemma, it revolved around Devon.
Beth’s heart hurt for her friend, knowing only time would lessen the pain, while never fully eliminating it. She locked the door, took Elle by the hand, and led her to the bathtub. She ran a hot bath and tossed in a lavender bath bomb.
“Undress and get in, love. I’ll make us both some chamomile tea, and you can fill me in on what happened. Or, you can just lay your head in my lap and cry while I pet your hair. Whatever you need.”
Elle nodded mindlessly, the blank expression she wore showed her thoughts were a million miles away. But she did as Beth instructed and sank further into the steaming water. Relief was nowhere to be found, however, because everything around her was tied to a memory of him.
When the water cooled, she wrapped a thick robe around her and joined Beth in the living room.
“Want me to reheat your tea?”
Elle shook her head and stretched out on the couch. With her head in Beth’s lap, she let her hot tears flow. Beth stroked her hair and tried to comfort her as best she could, but the end of a dream left a hole in Elle’s heart that couldn’t be filled with promises of a better day to come.
Her only consoling thought before she fell asleep on Beth was how she’d lived through other heartbreaking and difficult situations. She’d come through this one stronger and wiser.
But first, she would hurt.
