Page 97 of Torment Me Knot
“And Liam brought me paints. He saw me looking at them through a store window and just bought them. Didn't even ask. Just pressed the bag into my hands like it was nothing, like I was worth spending money on.”
“And Matteo?”
“He sang off-key while he cooked. Terrible at it. I loved listening to him.”
A ghost of a smile touches my mouth. Then it's gone.
“They were good to me.”
“That's what it should be like.”
“Then they died in a car accident that wasn’t an accident.”
My scent curdles. Cedar going sour.
“And then Axel.” I touch my throat, fingers finding the scar. “The collar. The crawling.” The words are coming out in chunks, like I'm pulling them up from somewhere deep. “Mick would tighten it when I didn't crawl fast enough. The auctions. They made me watch.”
Ezra sets his mug down. Carefully. Like he needs something to do with his hands.
“Gods, Aubrey.”
It's ironic. I didn't have my voice for years and now it's coming back with a vengeance. I can't stop. I feel like I’m watching from somewhere slightly outside my own body, watching the words come out, and I can't stop them.
“Made me kneel beside the stage while they sold omegas to the highest bidder. Numbers and holes. That's all we were to them.”
Ezra's scent shifts. The fresh linen goes sharp, the woodsmoke underneath turning acrid. Anger. Real anger, the kind that has nowhere to go. He's gripping his mug with both hands and his knuckles have gone pale.
“The alphas who bought them were scum. Every single one.”
“Kev helped stop them.”
Something moves through Ezra's scent then. The anger doesn't leave but grief spreads underneath it.
His voice comes out thick. “He was part of the team that took Axel down. He still has nightmares about what they found in those cells.”
I look out the window. Kev is still working on the frame. Building something solid for me. For Espie. His face brightens. A smile touches his lips. My gaze drops to his hands. Hands helped carry me out of that cell. Held me upright when my legs stopped working. I'd forgotten that until now. I'd forgotten it was him.
Kev was there. The night it ended. He saw all of it.
“The night they came for Leah.” I can't stop. My voice has gone flat, disconnected, like it belongs to someone else. “Axel had a gun to my head. He was going to kill me.” I pause. “I was ready. I wasn't even scared. I was just ready.”
The flatness starts to crack. “I heard you in the dark. Heard you talking to me. And I didn't want to come back. It was toohard. There was an end right there and I wanted it. I wanted all of it to just… end. Gods, I wanted it all to end.”
The tears come before I can stop them. The grief is too big and too old and it breaks through all the places I've been holding it back.
The sobs come ugly. My chest seizes with each one, ribs aching, lungs grabbing for air between waves. My hands are shaking too hard to wipe my face. I'm a mess and I can't stop and the shame of it rises hot in my throat.
Ezra makes a sound of distress. “Can I hold you, Aubrey? Please. Let me take care of you.”
He's not asking me to stop. He's not uncomfortable. He just wants to help carry it. I nod.
He gathers me so carefully. One moment I'm on the chair, the next I'm against his chest, his arms around me, his scent wrapping close. He shifts us to the couch without rushing it. More space. Softer surface. He thinks about these things.
“I've got you. You're okay, my omega.”
I cry in his arms and the sounds that come out of me are ugly and I can't make them stop. Ezra doesn't try to quiet me. Just holds me steady. A purr starts low in his chest. The vibration moves through me, into my ribs, into my bones. My heart rate drops. My shoulders unclench. I stop fighting it and let my breath match his.
I sink back into his chest. Let the purr do what it's doing. Let myself be held. My tears slow eventually. My breathing evens out. I'm wrung out and hollow and somehow that feels cleaner than the way I woke up this morning.
