Page 97 of In the Shadows
Grace had given them a set—hand-sewn, cream-colored, with a delicate lace border. Lila loved them on sight.
Ronan looked at them like they were a foreign language.
“They go on the windows,” Lila said, holding them up. “The large glass rectangles that let in light.”
“I know what curtains are.”
“Then why are you looking at them like that?”
He took a breath. “I’ve never had curtains.”
“Ronan, that’s not a personality trait. That’s a gap in your life experience.”
“I move every six months. I live out of a duffel bag. I don’t put up curtains because curtains say, ‘I’m staying,’ and I’ve never been staying.”
The words landed harder than either of them expected.
Lila set the curtains on the kitchen table. Slowly. Carefully.
“And now? Are you staying now?”
“That’s not what I?—”
“Because if this is temporary—if I’m temporary—I’d like to know before I invest any more of myself in a man who can’t commit to window treatments.”
“This is not about window treatments.”
“You’re right. It’s not.” She crossed her arms. “It’s about the fact that you’ve been here for three months and you still sleep with one eye open. You still check the locks twice. You still keep a bag packed in the closet—don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
He was quiet for a long time.
“I’m scared,” he said. The words sounded dragged from somewhere deep. “I’m scared that I’ll put up the curtains and start thinking of this as home, and then something will happen, and I’ll have to leave. And it’ll be worse than every other time because this time I’ll be leaving something that matters.”
Lila unfolded her arms. Put her hands on his chest, over his heart.
“You already think of this as home. The curtains won’t change that. They’ll just make it harder to deny.”
He looked at her. Something in his expression shifted. Not surrender. Decision.
He picked up the curtains.
“Which window first?”
They hung them together. His arms were longer, so he handled the high rod while she held the fabric straight. Their hands kept touching on the cloth.
When the last panel was in place, the cream-colored fabric filtered the light into something warm and golden, making the room look like a place where people lived.
“Huh,” he said.
“What?”
“They look good.”
She slid her hands up his arms to his shoulders. Rose on her toes and kissed the corner of his mouth.
“Are you staying?”
His hands found her waist. He lifted her until her face was level with his.
