Page 101 of In the Shadows
"That's exactly how it works. You decide what you want. You go after it. You deal with the obstacles when they show up." He finished his cider and tossed the cup in a nearby trash can. "You're not someone who shrinks, Lila. You never have been."
She didn't say anything. Just looked at him for a long moment, something shifting behind her eyes.
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"You said you don't know what's next. But you must want something."
He thought about the question. Really thought about it.
He was quiet long enough that she looked over at him. "There are things from before. Operations. People I went up against who aren't in custody." He kept his eyes on the water. "One in particular. I'm not going to pretend there's no risk to you — to this. I want you to know that going in."
She watched him. "How bad?"
"Unknown. That's the honest answer."
Lila was quiet for a moment. "Thank you for telling me."
"You're not scared?"
"I'm terrified. But I've been terrified for five years. I can function in it." She shifted to face him. "Don't use this as a reason to push me away."
"I want to learn how to be bored," he said finally. "I want to have days where nothing happens, and that's okay. I want to fix things around the cottage and argue with Sid about boat lifts and drink terrible cider at holiday markets." He met her eyes. "I want to figure out who I am when I'm not the guy with the mission."
"That sounds hard."
"Harder than anything I've ever done."
"But worth it?"
He reached out and took her hand. Her fingers were cold. He warmed them between his palms.
"Ask me in a year."
They walked home along the beach.
The market was winding down behind them, the vendors packing up their wares, the fully-lit tree glowing against the night sky. The sand was cold beneath Ronan's shoes, the wind off the Gulf carrying the salt-sharp smell of winter.
Lila had taken off her heels and was carrying them in one hand, her bare feet leaving prints in the wet sand near the waterline. She'd been quiet since they left the square, but it wasn't an uncomfortable quiet. More like she was working something out in her head. He reached his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Kissing her temple his heart stuttered. This was his life now. It was incredible.
"I'm going to do it," she said finally.
"The council seat?"
"Yeah." She kicked at a shell in the sand. "I'm going to tell Patricia yes. After the trial. When things settle down."
"Good."
"You think so?"
"I think you'll be good at it. I think you'll hate parts of it. I think you'll make people angry and make mistakes and wonder why you ever said yes." He glanced at her. "And I think you'll do it anyway, because that's who you are."
She was quiet for a few steps. Then: "Will you help me? When I'm in over my head?"
"I don't know anything about town councils."
"You know about strategy. About reading people. About figuring out what someone wants before they say it out loud." She stopped walking and turned to face him. "I'm not asking you to do it for me. I'm asking you to be there. To tell me when I'm being an idiot. To help me see what I'm missing."
