Page 100 of In the Shadows
Lila found him near the cider stand, two cups in her hands.
"Patricia wants to make that the town motto."
"It's not a bad motto."
"It's a terrible motto. It sounds defeatist." But she was smiling. "She also wants to know if you're available for crisis management consulting."
"I'm not actually a consultant."
"I told her you’ve retired." Lila handed him a cup. The cider was warm, too sweet, exactly the kind of thing he would never have chosen for himself. "What do you want to do now?"
"Now?"
"With your life. Now that you're retired from consulting, or whatever, and living in a cottage with a woman who has too much stuff." She bumped her shoulder against his. "What's next?"
He thought about it. The question wasn't casual. She was asking something real, and she deserved a real answer.
"I don't know," he said. "I've never not known before. There was always a mission. A target. A next thing."
"And now?"
"Now there's just... this." He gestured vaguely at the market, the tree, the people milling around them. "Days. One after another. No objective."
"That scares you."
"Terrifies me."
She nodded slowly. "My dad used to say that the hardest part of civilian life wasn't the boredom. It was the freedom. Having to decide for yourself what mattered, instead of someone telling you."
"Your dad was in the military?"
"No. But he had friends who were. He listened to them." She took a sip of her cider. "He was good at listening."
"You got that from him."
"Maybe." She looked out at the crowd. "I've been thinking about what I want. After the trial. After all of this is really over."
"And?"
"I want to stay in Blossom Springs. I want to keep working for the town, but maybe not in permits. Maybe something bigger." She paused. "Patricia mentioned the council seat again. The one Warren offered me before everything happened."
"Are you going to take it?"
"I don't know. Part of me thinks I should stay small. Keep my head down. Not draw attention." She turned to look at him. "But another part of me thinks that's exactly what they'd want. The people who killed my father. They'd want me to be afraid. To shrink."
"What do you want?"
"I want to matter." The words came out fierce, certain. "I want to do something that makes a difference. Not just process permits and plan events. Actually change things."
Ronan looked at her. The lights from the tree reflected in her eyes. The wind had pulled more hair loose from her ponytail, and there was color in her cheeks from the cold.
"Then do it."
"Just like that?"
"Why not? You've already taken down a corruption ring. A council seat should be easy."
She laughed. A real laugh. "That's not how it works."
