Page 62 of Captured by a Laird
“I never claimed to be a good man,” he said.
“I believe ye are,” she said, “or at least ye could be.”
“What use is a good man?” he said. “’Tis a strong man who serves his people.”
“Ye can be both,” she said. “’Tis not weak to show kindness or mercy.”
“Ye think our neighbors respect kindness?” he snapped.
She rested her hand on his shoulder. God, he needed her touch.
“I know ye love your brothers,” she said.
She did not understand that it was because he loved his brothers that he had to do this, no matter what it cost him.
“Robbie and Will worship ye,” she said. “You’re the example they strive to meet, and that they’ll judge themselves by as men.”
“I never asked for that,” he said.
“If ye do this, they’ll never feel that way again.” She brought her face in front of his and looked at him as if she were trying to see into his soul. “I am telling ye, David, that if ye do this, you’ll lose them both.”
“As Robbie told me repeatedly, he’s becoming a man,” he said. “He must learn the consequence of not following orders.”
“Even if it destroys his spirit?” she said. “The cost is too high. Why can ye not see it?”
“I cannot appear weak and still protect my family and clan.” He slammed his fist on the table. “My reputation is all that stands between all of you and destruction by our neighbors.”
“I hoped that ye were not as terrible as your reputation, I hoped…” Her voice caught in a strangled sob, and she stamped her foot. “I wanted to believe in ye!”
“I am a lost cause, Alison.” He tilted his head back and took another long drink as she slammed the door behind her.
He was alone again, as he had always been.
CHAPTER 25
Robbie shook off the men who were leading him to the post in the center of the castle courtyard and crossed the courtyard with his head up in a show of bravado. When he reached the post, he turned and met David’s gaze. David knew his brother so well that he could see the fear Robbie hid behind the proud defiance of his stance.
“Go inside,” he said to Will, who stood beside him. “Ye don’t have to watch this.”
“I’ll stay for Robbie,” Will said, giving him an accusing look.
Alison’s words echoed in his head.You’ll lose them both.
At David’s nod, the men stripped Robbie of his shirt. His brother had shot up to six feet, but he had not filled out yet. The sight of his narrow shoulders and thin arms made David’s head pound and his chest feel hollow.
Sweat broke out on his palms as he watched the men tether his brother to the post.
He would reduce the sentence to fifteen lashes. Nay, ten. Any lad should be able to stand ten. At his age, David had withstood far more. And David would not wield the whip as viciously as his English captors had.
“Give me the whip.” David took it from the man who held it for him and marched to the center of the courtyard. He could have asked another to give the punishment, but it was David’s decision and his duty. Besides, he would never allow one of his men to hurt Robbie. And he believed he should suffer with his brother.
He drew in a deep breath and cocked his arm.
He remembered the crack of the whip and the effort it took not to cry out when it cut through his skin and tore at his muscle. After twenty lashes, he had given in and screamed like a lass. After forty, he had passed out. He heard that they cut him down that first time after fifty or so.
Sweat rolled into his eyes, and the cold wind whipped his shirt against his damp skin. He reminded himself that the flogging the English gave him had served a useful purpose. It had hardened him, had helped him learn to withstand pain and fear and never show it.
And yet, he could not do it to his brother.
