Page 9 of Cut Off
“Sorry.” I take a breath and note the topic of Rosie is off limits for the time being. “What did you want to tell me?”
“That nobody’s telling you the truth.”
“Telling me the truth about what?”
“You’re the worst defenseman in the whole league. If I had a grandpa, he’d be tougher out there than you.”
I have to hold back a laugh. The kid’s right, I’ve got to give him that. But when that passes, I fixate on the mention of a grandpa he doesn’t have, the family he’s been denied. My dad would’ve adored him, spoiled him, and celebrated every birthday and Christmas. “You do have a grandpa, a grandma too, and they’re going to be so excited to meet you.”
“My grandpa is dead.” Eli’s face is stone-hard.
He’s obviously referring to Rosie’s father, who died when Rosie was young. Eli probably doesn’t know Rosie’s mother because Rosie stopped speaking to that nasty woman years ago.
I can’t help myself when I whisper, “You have more grandparents, and they’re pretty great.”
Eli shakes his head, and it’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about my family. It hurts like hell, but I get it.
“Eli,” Ms. Hernandez says gently. “Remember what we talked about? Mr. Holt didn’t know about you until today. This is difficult for everyone.”
“I’m still learning defense after being a center.” I lean into the one topic he seems to want to discuss.
“You sucked as a center too. Didn’t catch rebounds. Iffy passer.” He crosses his arms and continues to stare me down.
Damn.
“Eli.”Ms. Hernandez is more firm this time. “That’s enough.”
The social worker wrings her hands, and the officers exchange uncomfortable glances. But all I can focus on is Eli—this wounded, furious little boy.
“I’m sorry,” I say, the words inadequate but all I have. “I’m so sorry you had to come all this way to tell me. And I’m sorry I didn’t come to you. If I’d known—”
“You would’ve what?” Eli turns back to me, his voice rising. “Come to find us? You were too busy being famous to care about us.”
The accusation drives the air from my lungs. Is that what Rosie thought? That I was too caught up in hockey glory to want a family? The unfairness of it burns, but I swallow the defensive words that spring to my lips. This isn’t about me or my feelings right now.
“You’re wrong about that,” I say instead, keeping my voice steady. “I want you, Eli.”
He looks away again, but not before I catch the shimmer of tears in his eyes. “Doesn’t matter now.”
But itdoesmatter. It matters more than anything ever has.
“Eli, I want to do everything I can for you now that I know about you.Everything.” I swallow hard.
Ms. Hernandez clears her throat. “Perhaps we should discuss the steps that need to be taken first.” She heads to the door, opens it, and waves someone in.
Stevens appears and approaches Eli, saying, “How about you come with me to get a donut. Sound good?”
Eli nods with his whole body and manages to hold back tears. He jumps up and rushes off with the officer. I whoosh out an exhale, and drop my head into my hands.
Ms. Hernandez shuffles some papers on the table. “Mr. Holt, if you want custody, there are steps to be taken. Eli will be placed with a foster family—”
“Wait, what?” There’s that phrase again. “He’s not coming home with me? Now?”
“No, I’m sorry,” she continues, “We have to establish paternity, and you must demonstrate a willingness and ability to provide a safe and stable home for the child, completing a case plan required by the court in order to—”
“No need. I’m willing. I’m able. Got a house and all that. And hell, I’m his father—I mean, come on, anyone can see that.” The protectiveness that erupts inside me is unlike any I’ve ever felt before. I don’t want Eli placed with anyone who could hurt him or not give him everything he deserves. No one will give him as much as I can, and I can’t stand that he has to go elsewhere. “Give me two minutes. I’ll run to the drug store, pick up one of those DNA kits. They can’t take that long. A few hours maybe? A day, tops? He can stay with me until then. He’s mine—he should be coming home with me.”
“No, Mr. Holt.” Her voice is sharp and just as loud as mine. “Eli will not be going home with you today. And I suggest you calm down and lower your voice, or he won’t be going home with you anytime soon.”
