Page 53 of He Don't Play About Me
She laughed again, like she was trying to get under my skin on purpose.
“Gio, I’m not making you do anything. All you have to do is let me go.”
Now I laughed.
“I loved you, Islah, seven years down, and you ‘bout to make a nigga show you why niggas out here fear me. The reason why you ran to me in the first place, the reason why you feel so safe with me.”
Islah exhaled. I could hear her sniffling, trying to wipe away tears.
“Gio, I just can’t. We have to be done.”
I sat there and listened to my baby cry, and the only thing I wanted was to wrap her up in my arms. In that moment, I didn’t give a fuck about my bond, the time, the fuckin’ cage I was in. I lost every important person in my life: my momma, daddy, and brother. I never cared if the world was against me, but her? That was never gonna happen. The phone was still pressed to my ear, and I could hear her whisper.
“We’re done.”
I exhaled loud and shook my head. “Iight, Islah, I’ma give you space for now. But I want you to remember. You are mine, you will always be mine, and no nigga is gonna touch what’s mine. I will burn the city and whoever I need to get you back if I need to.”
The line went dead.
I leaned back on my bed, breathing heavy, listening to the noise around me. I know she was hurt, but I was mad. Mad that I was gonna have to come out of my pocket and show my baby a side of me that I never wanted her to see.
I used to be a… diabolical nigga, but after some losses and meeting her, I calmed down a lot. But all that calm, cool nigga shit is out the window. One thing for sure, two things for certain, Islah wasn’t leaving me.
Chapter 13
What To Do?
It had been a few days since I saw and talked to Gio, and I can’t lie, I was going through it at my momma's house in ways I never thought I would.
I was a mix of emotions. I missed him, I hated him, I loved him. I hurt. I cried when I saw something that reminded me of him and cussed when I saw something that reminded me of what he did. And when I didn’t have the energy to do any of that, I just smoked and drank to keep me from doing that other shit to the point where my parents started to question if I was really okay.
One night after my mama cooked dinner, I went out on the back patio to smoke with my glass of wine. I was looking up at the stars, saying a lil’ prayer when my momma came out and sat with me.
“So… He cheated, huh?” she flat out asked.
I shot my head over to her.
“How did you know?”
She smirked. “By the way you are acting.”
I nodded. I knew I had been crashing out.
“For three years he was messing with somebody else. I talked to him, and he said it wasn’t like that, but?—”
“But it still hurt,” she said, cutting me off.
I looked at her and nodded. She reached over and rubbed my arm. “I know, baby. I know it hurt. And it’s okay to hurt. But you gotta remember, you can’t let the hurt he did to you control how you move. You still have a life to live.”
“I know,” I said, voice cracking. “But it’s like every time I think about him and everything we’ve been through, I get stuck. I never wanted to walk away from him, but what he did behind my back… While I was home cooking dinner, counting money, and washing his clothes, waiting for him. He was with somebody else, and really it wasn’t behind my back, he told me.”
Her eyes softened. “I get it, Islah. But crying, drinking, and smoking is not going to fix it. You gotta find a better way to heal your heart, even if he’s still in it.”
I stared at her, taking it all in. “I don’t even know if I can. I swear I’ve been feeling like I can’t breathe without the nigga. I know I still love him.”
Ma nodded. “Then use that, baby, don’t let it destroy you. If you decide to wait for Gio, cool. If you decide to move on with your life and find a man who will give you what you wanted Gio to, that’s fine too. But whatever you decide to do, use whatever you are feeling on the inside to strengthen you. You will be okay, you will figure it out, and baby, you are never alone.”
I let out a shaky breath, stood up, and hugged my momma. I needed to hear every bit of that.
