Page 70 of Better Off Wed
It was the first time he’d let me see his scars in their entirety.
My heart thrummed as I reached for him, then hesitated. “Will it hurt if I touch you?”
A muscle jumped in his cheek, but he shook his head. “I don’t have much sensation over the scars. It feels…strange. I don’t normally like to be touched. But—if you want?—”
Tentatively, I reached for his chest, then traced the edge of the scar tissue along the front of his shoulder. Gideon watched me as I ran my fingers over the burn scars on his shoulder, then shuddered as I ran my hand down his arm and over the worst of the scars on his forearm. Stroking back up to his neck, I traced over his jaw and into his hair.
“For better or worse,” he repeated bitterly.
“Better,” I said, touching his shoulders then stroking down his chest. “Definitely better.”
He frowned, searching my expression, then, slowly, relaxed. I explored his body, marveling at the hard pack of muscle, wondering at the pain he must have endured during the fire and in his recovery. His body was a work of art. It was the story of his bravery and his selflessness. It was finally mine to touch and admire and adore.
I realized I was truly in love with him, head over heels, never coming back. I wondered if he could see it in my eyes when our gazes met. Maybe that’s why he shifted off me and slid his hand between my legs again. Maybe the reverence with which he touched me was his way of telling me he felt the same way.
This time, when he slid a finger inside me, there was nothing but pleasure in the touch. I reached for him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing his jaw as he slid his finger in and out. I spread my knees as wide as I could, arching into the touch. He hummed his pleasure, peppering my shoulder and neck with kisses. His skin was hot against mine as I rolled into him to press my chest against his, and I sighed at the ecstasy of finally feeling it against my own.
“My greedy wife,” he murmured. “Greedy, horny, perfect wife.”
Embarrassment was a hot flush that only heightened my pleasure. “You’re so rude,” I murmured, and he chuckled.
Then he pulled back to watch my face, and he added a finger. I clung to him, trembling, as he made shallow little movements and whispered, “Okay?”
I nodded, blowing out a breath, my fingers sinking into his shoulders. “Better than okay,” I said, and he went a little deeper.
“You want to try the toy?”
His eyes were clear blue and patient. There was no ulterior motive in his question. It was entirely up to me. I inhaled sharply and said, “It’s a medical device, actually.”
His smile was a flash of white, and he dipped his face to kiss me. He pushed his fingers a little deeper and swallowed my gasp. His tongue brushed mine as he worked his fingers inside me until I was panting and writhing beneath him. Gideon was generous with his praise. He murmured in my ear about how brave and perfect and beautiful I was. He kissed my neck and hummed when I reached down to grab his wrist, rocking my hips against his hand. He made it feel good to let go, because there was no endgame other than my own pleasure.
I’d never been with anyone like this. I hadn’t even known it was possible for sex to be like this.
I scrabbled at the bedside table, and Gideon got the message. He reached over to grab the dilator, squeezed some lube on it, then brought it to my core. He didn’t have to tell me that he’d stop if I said so. It was right there in his eyes as he watched me.
The dilator slid in. Filled me up. I whimpered, but it wasn’t from pain. Gideon’s eyes skittered down my body to watch as he moved the shaft to penetrate me in slow, deep strokes. His breathing became shallow.
It was an entirely different experience to do this with someone else. Vulnerable in a way that amplified the pleasure. Every stroke of the shaft against my inner walls made me want more. I reached down to guide his hand, and he grunted in encouragement, shifting so he could watch.
There was nowhere to hide. Gideon knew all my dirty little secrets, and he wasn’t afraid of them. He relished the opportunity to explore them with me. Suddenly, I wasn’t trying to fix myself on my own. I wasn’t racing against a ticking clock, knowing that when the time was up, he would be gone.
Gideon was here to stay.
I pushed against him, and he rolled onto his back, brows arching in surprise and concern. I saw the moment he realized I wasn’t stopping him. It was right about the time that I had his jeans unbuttoned and tugged halfway down his thighs. He helped me get them off, and then I knelt between his legs and took his cock in my hands.
“Sadie—”
“Don’t you dare tell me not to touch you,” I warned.
His chest heaved with every breath. For the first time, we were both naked with each other. Equals. I stroked him with my hand, then, before he could protest, I took him in my mouth. He swore, hands flying to my head, and I sucked him with all the expertise I’d honed when I thought I had to make up for my body’s quirks.
It didn’t feel like I had a malfunctioning body anymore. With the dilator still inside me and pleasure winding tight in the pit of my stomach, it felt like my body was working exactly as designed, because we fit together like we were made for each other. My lips wrapped around his thickness and I took as much of him into my mouth as I could, wrapping my hand around the base when he bottomed out against the back of my throat. I doubted I’d ever be able to feel his cock between my legs; he was simply too big. But it didn’t matter. There were plenty of other things we could do.
“That medical device still inside you?” Gideon asked between pants.
I gave him a hard suck in response to that insolence, and he let out a breathless laugh as he swore. I sucked up to his tip, released, and giggled, leaning my forehead against his hip as I stroked him with my hand. He gathered my hair in his hands and gripped it in a fist as he stared down at me—and I saw the same hungry look in his eyes that I’d seen the very first time we stared at each other, standing in the aisle on our wedding day.
He’d wanted me from the start, just like I’d wanted him.
