Page 82 of Tease
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pat the top of her hand.
“Oh, I think you do know. So you gave Jared another chance, didn’t you?”
I scoff. “Am I that easy to read?!”
“What can I say? An ER nurse makes for a great reader of people. Their facial expressions, body language, their tone...” She lifts a shoulder then takes a sip of her drink. Her lips pucker. “Mmhmm, that’s good.”
Leaning my body toward hers, I cup my mouth with my hand like I’m telling a secret. “But yeah, I am happy. Likereallyfucking happy, Shelah.”
“You deserve it. Tell me all about it.”
“Give me five minutes.” I then make my rounds on all of the bar's other customers, refilling drinks and taking their orders. I’m sitting down next to her before she’s had time to finish her drink.
Shelah shifts her body to face me. “Alright, so you chose Jared?”
I lean my head on her shoulder. “Yeah, I did.”
“Do you still worry?”
“I just feel a pit of sadness and regret sometimes. That I could’ve been this happy years ago, with Jared.”
She waves me off. “Nonsense.” Her hand goes to my heart. “You needed to heal, or you’d never be truly happy.”
“Okay, fair enough, pretty lady. What’s new with you? How’s the family? How’s work?”
“Everyone’s good, growing up on me. Wish they lived closer. Maybe when I retire I’ll move to their town. And the ER is okay; same shit different day. We’ve got the nurses who are having affairs with doctors. We’ve got the regulars coming in acting like we’re their primary care providers. And, of course, I get to enjoy the most random crazy shit that walks through those doors.” She finishes her drink and waves to the bartender for another.
“Which reminds me, I’ve got a good rectum story for you!”
I squeeze her shoulder. “My hero, always reminding me of what I’m missing.”
“This one was particularly rare for me also. Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen it happen before today.”
“Oh, you’ve got me on pins and needles. Let’s hear it.”
“This guy and his wife come in. A little purple bullet, with a full battery charge, was being used in the wife’s ass, when her sphincter swallowed it inside her.”
“What?!” I smack the table.
“Girl, you could still hear the vibration with a stethoscope.”
“Did they rush the lady into surgery?”
“Nah, the surgeon walked in. Told her to drink the stuff we tell people to use to clean themselves out when they’re preparing for a colonoscopy. Told her if she didn’t poop it out that night to come back tomorrow morning.”
“How long do you think the battery life is on her toy?”
“Shit, I hope it's not too long. It was still vibrating when she left. That sensation alone for that long had to be unbearable.” Shelah shakes her head.
“Wow, I’m speechless. At least it wasn’t an animal this time.” I make a gag face at the memory.
“Uh-huh, for sure. So when do I get to meet this handsome man of yours?”
“Hey, he could be ugly.”
“No way. The glow radiating off of you tells me he’s the whole package.” Shelah touches my dimple on my right cheek. “Are your friends and family happy for you too?”
“See, that’s the thing: I haven’t told my family yet.” I rest my forehead on the bartop.
