Page 69 of Tease
Jared and Beau were great the other night as our designated drivers—when us ladies had gotten a little too drunk, talking about men and our pasts. I learned that Ajani definitely does have a thing for Beau, and that Brittney might not be as happy with Skyler as she’s led me to believe. Anytime I’ve tried to bring it up while we’ve been sober, Britt shuts me down. But I also know she’s been busy with work and finishing her degree.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Shelah’s words of wisdom. Why shouldn’t I jump in with both feet with Jared? I was drunk the other night, and I vaguely remember asking him to ask me out. I know that Jared, Beau, and Skyler are fighting at an event located in the next town over. Brittney should be there right now, too, to cheer on her man.
I ended up not being needed at The Purple Room tonight. Sitting on my couch, in an empty apartment, all I can think about is Jared, and if he’ll win tonight. He hasn’t texted since my drunken ladies’ night. I’m not sure what that’s all about, but I decided that I’m going to just show up to their fights. I’m not going to text Brittney, in case I chicken out at the doors.
The arena is lit up; I could see the bright lights from the highway. Surprisingly, on the drive here, I didn’t once think about turning around and going home. I’m actually excited to see Jared—and Britt, of course.
After I park and pay for a ticket, I walk into the auditorium that’s decked out for the fights. Balloons are everywhere, ring girls are walking around and taking photos with fans. I continue walking down the long aisle, scanning the auditorium. I don’t want to sit with Brittney, who’s got a front-row seat. I don’t know if I want Jared knowing I came for him just yet. I find an empty seat, close enough to have a good view of the fighters, but far enough for me not to be noticed under my cap and baggy sweatshirt.
Two fights have come and gone before I notice that it’s Beau walking out. He looks sexy, abs perfectly defined, a look on his face of pure determination. He doesn’t pause to talk or wave to anyone. Beau pulls open the gate and struts inside the cage. The shorts he’s wearing are hot pink, which I wouldn’t have guessed for tonight’s fight. He wins the fight after a couple rounds, and I clap instead of cheer, too afraid Britt will recognize my voice.
I hear NF start to play through the speakers, and IknowJared’s about to walk out. Excitement races through me and my butt scoots to the edge of its seat. The girls seated near me stand up and start hooting and hollering. I overhear them say how hot the fighter is.Don't I know it?
Jared makes his appearance in the cage by strutting in through the open gate with his arms flexed out on either side of his head. He shadowboxes his wrapped up fists into the air, rolling his shoulders back a couple of times. His robe is handed to a guy, who I assume is his trainer. The other fighter does his round of showboating before the crowd starts to simmer down.
Before the fight begins, Jared’s body stills and he looks up at the ceiling. I catch the quick motion of his right fingers double tapping the inside of his left wrist. Watching him do that stirs something inside of me. Images of that movement simultaneously flash through my mind like a movie, taking my breath away.
I grab Jared’s left wrist; I can feel his strong pulse beneath my fingertips, and my lips connect to the skin, pressing two soft, quick kisses to the inside. “You’re my pulse. You make my heart beat. I love you.”
Another memory breaks free.
Jared grabs my hand while his motorcycle idles at a stoplight, holding it in his, resting our grip together on his thick thigh. He flips my left wrist over, and taps it twice. “I love you, Kailey.”
I grab his wrist, tapping twice, pressing deeper on the second tap. “I loved you first.”
My vision comes back into focus. I’m frozen, staring at Jared—Cap Guy.The man who made me feel every single fucking thing. “What. The. Fuck.”
I don’t realize that those words slipped out of my mouth until a girl next to me answers, “He always does that before each fight.”
I turn my head to look at who the voice belongs to. The girl who spoke to me is beautiful, with brunette hair and brown eyes; her smile is genuine as she waits for me to respond.
“Why?” I barely recognize my voice, as that one word comes out weak and pitiful.
“Who knows? A ritual of some sort?” She stops talking and points at her friends. “We love to spend our girls’ nights watching cage fights. So we’ve seen Cap fight several times.”
“What’d you call him?” A piercing pain stabs through my heart.
“That’s his stage name—Cap.” Her smile drops off when she looks at me. Her worried stare lands on my face, which I’m sure is pale and diaphoretic. “Are you okay?” She takes a step closer to me, shaking her head. “You don’t come to fights much, do you? Are you here for someone?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m sorry. I’m… gonna go to the bathroom.” I don’t just walk away from that girl; I run away from her, as fast as I can, right out of that auditorium. My hand goes to cover my mouth, praying to hold back the vomit wanting to escape.
Once I make it to the bathroom, I stop at the sink and look in the mirror. Holy fucking shit. I look rough. My face has lost all of its color. I turn the faucet on cold and palm water a few times to rinse my face. Grabbing a paper towel to dab my face and resting the wet part on the back of my neck, a stream of tears race down my face, and my breathing is erratic.
My hand rushes to my sternum, massaging it, hoping it’ll ease the ache.What have I done?Did I really give him up all those years ago? Just for him to show back up into my life? Am I to live in a new fucking nightmare? How could he ever look at me the same way that he used to? I ghosted him. Didn’t even give him a chance…
I relax against the back wall and let my body slide down it, where I now sit on the cold, dirty bathroom floor, haunted by thoughts.
CHAPTER 52
Jared
The fights went great for the whole team tonight. Beau, Skyler, and I all won our matches with knockouts. I’m in no rush to leave the locker room tonight, knowing no one’s out there waiting for me. I secretly hoped that Kailey would be sitting with Brittney on the front row. Unfortunately, Brittney sat there alone, cheering for my teammate. He walked out of here with Beau earlier and told us how he’s gonna have Brittney on her knees when he gets home.
I showered and then put on my sweats and hoodie. Now, I’m standing with my back against the door, playing with the strap of my duffel bag. Wondering what the fuck I’m doing. If Kailey really is happy and was doing well before I got here, I should have never come to Chicago. When she was drunk, she mentioned she’d go on a date with me if I asked, but then I never heard from her afterwards. And I didn’t want to press my luck and be let down.
I bang the back of my head against the door. This self-doubt I’m experiencing is starting to suffocate me. I shake my head and open the door, hoping I’ve stalled long enough that there won’t be any fans waiting, and I can walk to my car in peace.
The back hallway that leads to the parking lot is quiet, and I wonder how long I sat inside the locker room. Beau told me he had plans tonight and that he’d be home in the morning. So it looks like I’ll have to busy my mind with some video games, or finish binge-watching the Die Hards.
