Page 26 of Tease
“Just go for now; we’ll keep you updated,” Greg tells me, while nodding his head in the direction where Joey took off.
“This isa lotright now,” Steffan chimes in.
I shake my head slowly back and forth. I’m unable to take my eyes off of Kailey as she walks away from me. “I swear, I didn’t know...” My eyes burn behind their closed lids as a lonely tear sneaks down my cheek. My knees give out, and I drop to the cold pavement. “I didn’t fucking know!!!” Wanting the pain inside my chest to stop, I punch into the concrete over and over again.
Kailey
When I started learning medical terminology and nursing instruments, I never thought it would be used in this kind of situation. Disgust fills my body as I walk back into the emergency department’s waiting room. Dad is standing through the barrier of the doors, hands in his pockets, face covered with red splotches. His posture is rigid, and he’s been crying. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad cry.
“Follow me,” he orders my brother and me, while slowly turning around. His soft, determined steps head straight for E.D. One.
As a child, adults would randomly tell me that my whole life could change in an instant. You never really believe them, but I should’ve believed it.
Bleach. That’s the smell that engulfs my nose as I walk on the shiny white marble floors. My feet are trailing behind a nurse wearing a solemn expression, alongside my dad. I hear a child screaming in a patient’s room, and a woman shuts the door as we walk by. I see staff laughing at the nurse’s station, looking at something on someone’s phone. A man in a hospital gown is calling a nurse a bitch, saying she’s worthless and for her to go grab the doctor.
My hand starts to feel a warm sensation. When I look down at it, I see Travey’s hand is now wrapped around mine. I give it a squeeze. How is he so calm?
“E.D. 1” is labeled in bold letters on a plastic plaque above the room. We walk together through the open door. Beth wears a hospital gown, and she’s lying on a stretcher in the middle of the room. Her bra and underwear are in pieces in the corner of the room, and it appears they had to be cut off of her body. My body is frozen in place, and I can see everything in the room. The countertop is a cluster of syringes, opened medication boxes, empty tubes… Is that a catheter? No one has spoken since we walked into the room. The doctor’s hands are clasped together in front of him, a grim expression lacing his face.
“She went too long without oxygen.” Dr. Hugh cuts through the silence, his words directed at my parents, and then he looks at my brother and me.
“But miracles happen all the time,” Mom cries while her stare lingers on my sister’s peaceful body.
I hear machines beeping at her bedside. Beth’s body is still pale, and she has a breathing tube hanging out of her mouth. I stand in place, in a trance, watching to make sure her chest continues to rise and fall.
“Nothing else can be done, Mr. and Mrs. Caine; Beth is brain-dead. She failed the apnea test, the EEG, and the angiography.” The doctor steps closer to the stretcher, and he looks down at my sister. “It’s my recommendation that we cease life-prolonging measures.” Dr. Hugh’s eyes are glossy when he looks back at my family. “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please let my staff know your decision. Take as much time as you need with your daughter.” The doctor stops and turns around, pausing at the door, silently making sure we have nothing more to say to him before shutting the door.
“But she’s breathing; she’s okay,” Travey whispers next to Beth’s bed.
“Not really, she isn’t.” A sob breaks free from Dad, and he attempts to cover it with a clearing of his throat. “Your sister is brain-dead. These machines…” he points to each one, located around the room, “they’re keeping her body alive.” He slowly walks up to my sister, pauses his movement, and kneels down at her bedside. Dad leans over her and places a soft kiss on her forehead. His mouth lingers there, and he quietly tells her, “I love you, baby girl.”
“They are wrong!” Mom screams. “Our daughter is still in there! Come back to us, sweetie.” She throws herself on top of Beth, whispering words into her ear while brushing stray hairs out of her beautiful face.
Travey doesn’t move a muscle—he’s a statue—and he continues to just stare at them. “This can’t be real.” Shaking his head, he walks over to where Dad is now holding himself up against the wall behind the stretcher. Dad turns and hugs him tight. I’m quiet as I watch my little brother’s armor break apart, shattering piece by piece. Dad sees me staring and gives a nod of silent understanding.
Beth’s hands are cold as I grip one into mine. “I love you so, so, so much. You’re my best friend.” Snot drips from my nose, landing on the crisp white sheet. I wipe it away with the back of my hand. “I’m so fucking sorry, Beth.” Her sunflower tattoo, the twin to mine, is radiant with color behind her left ear and down her neck. A contrast to the rest of her pale body. On instinct, my fingertips trail over the spot behind my right ear. “I can’t do this life without you,” I whisper, laying my head next to hers on the pillow. I let out a shaky breath, raising my head up to look at her face that’s devoid of any emotions. I don’t believe that she’s really gone. I cautiously and unhurriedly lift each of her eyelids and find that both of her pupils are blown. Sobs rake throughmy body as I lean in, placing a soft kiss above her right dimple piercing.
My. Fault.This is all my fucking fault. Why did I have to go and get involved with Jared?
CHAPTER 20
Kailey
Three weeks have passed since Beth was diagnosed, labeled as brain-dead. Mom fought the staff and demanded a second opinion. When the second doctor’s conclusions were the same as the first, Beth was unhooked from the machines that were keeping the rest of her body alive. My mother prayed for a miracle, and it never came. Everyday life physically hurts with Beth gone. I cry in the shower and take multiple sleep aids at night to attempt peace of mind. I withdrew myself from the nursing program, which was supposed to start last week. Never stepping foot inside a hospital again would still be too soon.
The coroner’s report stated that her body had four times the amount of fentanyl to kill a person. Her death certificate lists her cause of death as homicide, however, to this day, nothing has been done about it. Local police officers and detectives said there wasn’t anything that could be done in regards to going after that asshole Joey. There wasn’t enough evidence to prosecute. Sarah took back her initial statement, and instead, told authorities that she was unsure of what really happened by the pond. Alcohol was involved, so it changed the entire integrity of the case.
Jared has continued to call and text, and he even showed up at my work a few nights ago. I can’t even look at him without feeling sick with guilt and shame. There is no way around the truth: Beth would still be alive if I never fell for Jared. His gift, my heart pendant necklace, is resting against my neck—the coldness against my hot skin, a constant reminder that what we had was real. Zoning out, I continue to stare mindlessly outside my living room window.
After my bereavement leave ended, work has been a true chore to attend. Everywhere I look, memories of Beth bombard me and hit me at full force. Her stopping by to visit me at work. Her leaving me funny tips. Or the times Beth would pick me up after my shift ended so we could go on one of our traditional Mexican food dates.
No more smiley, cheerful, carefree Kailey. She died that night, along with Beth. It’s hard enough to force myself out of bed and into the shower, and to be present for my family. Our parents and Travey are also barely holding it together. Travey lives in his room, on his PC. Mom and Dad attempt to put up a good front of them surviving day to day, but Mom’s nightly cries still travel down to my basement apartment.
Sarah and I haven’t spoken. I hate that she took back her statement about what really happened that night, and I want to know why. Brittney makes her appearance daily, with coffees or sweet treats. She tells me that my family is in everyone’s prayers. Nothing can take the pain away, not even her nice gestures. Greg and Steffan send daily texts in our friend group chat, letting me know they miss me and are always just a phone call or text message away, if they’re ever needed. I know that they’re each giving me space, but I still feel like I’m suffocating in my own skin. My phone pings from the floor with an incoming text notification. I grab it, flip it open, and see that it’s another text from Jared.
CapGuy:P
Please don’t do this to us. I love you.
