Page 29 of Speechless
She smacked his arm. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
“I’m not complaining,” I offered, lifting my empty glass in a cheer.
Ocean just shook her head. “Keep us in the loop on the other thing.”
“Sure.”
Isolde lifted her hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll beat it into her before we leave.”
“Good.” She wove her fingers together with Everett’s. “See you guys later.”
Everett gave us his own wave, but his eyes rarely left Ocean, which, after everything she’d been through, she deserved.
Isolde leaned back with her mimosa and crossed her legs. “If you think either of us will forget about this, you’re incorrect.”
“I know. I just?—”
“Do you remember when you, Ocean, and I were on a three-way phone call before Ellie’s wedding, and Ocean snapped at me? Because I won’t lie, I love you, but I’m almost there with you.”
I stared at her. “Ocean snapping was more about her than you.”
Setting down her glass, Isolde dropped her face into her hands. “For fuck’s sake.” Then she looked at me. “Do you have any idea what you looked like when you came out of Element?”
“Wrecked and out of my mind?”
“Happy,” she said. “You looked over the fucking moon, Rin. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen you that happy.” I opened my mouth, and she cut me off. “Don’t come at me with that ‘I’m always happy,’ bullshit. We both know that’s an act. Usually, I’m happy to go along with it, but we’re tired of seeing you push away happiness for no reason.
“And yeah, I know that’s a little hypocritical coming from me. Butpleaselearn from my mistakes. You haven’t been happy for a long time, and it’s only gotten worse with the promotion. I know that I’m being harsh, but I know what I saw on Friday. Don’t dismiss it because it’s complicated or you might be judged. Don’t ignore it because you’re afraid it will go wrong. It doesn’t work. Ask me how I know.”
She wasn’t wrong. Isolde’s pack had been escorts before they met her. Elite escorts that I managed to track down and interview for the magazine.
Ocean and I had watched her try to resist giving in to their attraction for all those same reasons. Fear of judgment. Fear of hurt. Fear of loss.
I knew they would be there to pick me up if the worst happened. But if I was honest with myself, I didn’t know if I was brave enough.
I never had been before.
Turning on the charm, I smirked at her. “You’re welcome, by the way, for risking my career to introduce you guys.”
“Rin,” she sighed. “Please. We’ve been friends for as long as we can remember. You can be honest with me.”
“I know.”
Swallowing, I looked away from her. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her and Ocean. It was that I didn’t trust anyone. Not completely. It was easier that way. If people didn’t know all of you, it was harder for them to hurt you, and it was a habit now to keep things behind the walls I built.
They were there for a reason.
Silence stretched before Isolde spoke again. “We know, by the way.”
I looked at her. “Know what?”
She huffed a breath. “That you’re not telling us everything. That’s fine. Ocean didn’t either. But I hope you know that we’re here for you.”
“Yeah,” I murmured.
“I’m not going to beat you over the head. But I just want to beg you not to decide this by yourself. Talk to them first. Take it from someone who wished she’d done it so much sooner.”
Isolde stood and took her things with her. She pressed one hand to my shoulder as she passed, leaving me sitting there looking at the ocean and contemplating my entire fucking life.
