Page 163 of Broken Lies
Chapter Thirty-Five
RILEY
I don’t knowhow long I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling.
An hour? Maybe two?
Kieran’s side is empty and cold, but I don’t get up to go and find him, not when I can barely stand to look him in the eye.
How can I when I’m keeping the world's biggest secret from him?
I’m pregnant.
I thought it was some kind of sick joke, that maybe Lucy and I mixed up our tests. But I know in my gut that it’s true. Especially when I remembered that I doubled up on my pill the day after I slept with Kieran in Vegas.
I’ve missed pills before, and I didn’t consider it a big deal because I’ve never had a reason to worry. I simply took two the next day like the packet says, and no harm is done.
But I wasn’t sleeping with anyone back then, and Idefinitelywasn’t sleeping with Kieran Sullivan.
The night that Kieran took my virginity, I was essentially unprotected, and I’ve watched enough teen pregnancy reality shows to know that it only takes one time to get knocked up. Besides, I’m convinced the Sullivans have some kind of supersonic sperm, considering the fact Ciara is carrying twins.
Oh, my god. What if I’m having twins, too?
Once again the excitement at having a baby turns to fear, and I have to close my eyes and count my breaths until it passes. I feel like such an ass for judging Lucy for having unprotected sex when I was just as irresponsible. I mean, I’ve barely known Kieran for a month and now I’m carrying his child.
This was so not part of my plan.
I keep running scenarios through my head of what Kieran will say or how he’ll react when I tell him he’s going to be a father.
Is he going to be happy or completely freak out? Does he even want kids?
We’ve never had that conversation considering the fact our relationship started out as fake.
But now, everything has changed, and I no longer view Kieran as the man who saved me from Sean O’Keefe. He is the man I want to wake up to every morning and go to bed every night wrapped in his arms.
I can see myself building a family with him, but my stomach twists in knots at the thought of opening the door and having him slam it in my face.
I should just tell him and rip the band-aid off.
I’m not good at trusting people at the best of times, so I find it hard to believe that Kieran will want to stay and play the role of the doting father. So, isn’t it better to find out sooner rather than later?
Footsteps sound downstairs, followed by the low hum of the coffee machine as Kieran goes about his morning, so I take that as my cue to get up.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and walk quietly out of the bedroom and down the stairs.
Kieran sits at the island, his coffee in front of him and his shoulders hunched, like the weight of the world is pressing down on him.
He doesn’t even look up when I appear in the kitchen, and my chest aches seeing him like this.
“Hey,” I say softly.
He startles as he looks up at me, and I frown.
The shadows under his eyes are darker than I’ve ever seen.
“Did you even sleep?”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the curls. “A little… Not much.”
