Page 87 of What We Brave
My throat feels raw. "So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want to try. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. See where it goes." Her gaze locks on mine. "But if you need a guarantee—if either of you can't move forward without a promise of forever—then you're right. We should end this now."
The silence that follows is crushing.
Reid clears his throat. "That's not fair."
"None of this is fair," Laine agrees. "But it's honest. And I'd rather have honest than easy."
She's standing there, arms wrapped around herself, looking smaller than I've ever seen her. But her spine is steel. Her eyes clear.
Even now, she's trying to find a path through this. She's still trying to take care of everyone.
The selfish part of me wants to take her up on this. Any part of her is better than the hell I existed in when she and Reid were a couple. But we're talking really unknown territory. I don't know if this idea is a lifeline, or the fucking anchor that's going to drag me down.
"I need time," I hear myself say.
Laine nods. "Okay. So do I. I didn't plan to suggest this. It still might be crazy. But it also feels like possibility. But I can't quite figure out if I've lost my mind. I need time too."
Fuck. I don't want her to change her mind. "Not—not a lot. Just..." I drag a hand through my hair. "This is?—"
"I know."
Reid stands. "We should all sleep on it. Make sure we're thinking clearly."
"Yeah." The word comes out steadier than I feel. "Good idea."
Reid stands, "I'll drive you home."
She shakes her head and pulls out her phone, taps a few buttons, then looks up with a small smile. "I've got a car coming. It's close. I just…I think some space is good."
Laine grabs her jacket from the back of the couch. "Why don't we connect in a few days," she says. "We can talk more when we've all had time to process."
Reid walks her to the door. I stay rooted in place, watching them say goodbye. No kiss. Just Reid's hand on her shoulder, gentle. Laine's fingers squeezing his wrist. Then she looks back at me, and I freeze. There's something there in her gaze I haven't seen before. A hint of warmth that I want more of.
"Text when you get home." Fuck. That sounded like an order. "Please."
She nods, then she's gone.
I go to the window, watching her get into a car, logging the plate number and description. The door clicks shut. Reid leans his forehead against it.
"Well," he says finally. "That happened."
I sink onto the couch. My fucking legs are shaking. "She's serious."
"Yeah." Reid turns around, back pressed to the door. "She is."
"You okay?"
He laughs—sharp, humorless. "Ask me that again when my brain starts working." He moves to the chair across from me. "You?"
Too many things to put into words. "Terrified."
"Join the club."
We sit there. Two idiots who somehow ended up in the most complicated situation imaginable. The clock on the wall ticks. Outside, a car passes. Everything in my world just fucking stopped, but out there, time's still passing.
"I don't know if I can do this," I admit.
