Page 279 of What We Brave
Mom's crying now. Quiet, careful tears she wipes with the back of her hand. The firelight catches them and I have to look away.
"Sweetheart, this isn't about kindness?—"
"Then what's it about?"
"It's about—" She presses her hands together. Fingertips against her lips. The prayer posture. I've seen it a thousand times. Before meals. Before bedtime. Before hard conversations in church basements in countries I can barely remember. "How did this happen? How did you go from dating Reid to — tothis?"
"We didn't just fall into it. It wasn't — we thought about it. We talked about it. We made a decision."
"In six months."
"I've known Blake for over a year. And Reid?—"
"A year ago you called mecrying." Mom's voice breaks open. "Do you remember that? You called me and you could barely speakbecause someone had hurt you. Someone had been cruel and you were?—"
She stops. Looks at Blake.
No. No no no?—
"It was him." Not a question. "Wasn't it."
My throat locks. "Mom, it's not — he wasn't?—"
"Yes, ma'am." Blake's voice. Low. Steady. "That was me."
I look at him. His face is unreadable in the half-light but his body has shifted — leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Open. Not hiding.
He didn't know about that call.
But he's doing the math. I can see it happening behind his eyes — the timeline, the tearful phone call, Mary Mitchell filing away the name of the man who hurt her daughter. And he's not going to let me carry that explanation.
"I was in a bad place," he says. "I made decisions that hurt her. And Reid. I nearly destroyed what they had." A pause. His jaw works. "I'm not going to pretend that didn't happen."
"Then how—" Mom looks between us, hands spread, bewildered. "How are youhere? After what he did — how is he here, Laine?"
"Because he came back. He made it right. He earned?—"
"Earnedwhat?"
"Us. Our trust. Our—" My voice splinters.Don't fall apart."People make mistakes, Mom. People hurt each other and they come back and try again. You know that. You've spent your whole life teaching that."
She flinches. I see it and I wish I could take it back and I also don't. Because it's true. She's all about forgiveness and second chances.
But maybe that only applies to other people.
Or maybe this is too big to forgive.
"Blake." Mom's voice has changed. Harder now. Not cruel — but the warmth is gone. "Why are you doing this? Why don't you — you're a strong, good-looking young man. Why don't you find your own—" She stops. Tries again. "Why not have your own life? Your own relationship?"
Don't.
Blake straightens. Not aggressive. Not defensive. Just…sure.
"This is my life," he says. "This is my relationship."
"But—"
"Your daughter is the strongest person I've ever met." His voice is quiet but it has weight. How is he so calm? So measured? I close my eyes and let some of his calm seep into me. "She chose me when she had every reason not to. Both of them did. And I will be loyal to her — to both of them — for the rest of my life." He pauses. "That's not something I'm confused about."
