Page 15 of What We Brave
"Reid, wait?—"
"I wish I could have been better for you." He's already climbing in, starting the engine. "Someone who deserved you."
Then he's gone. Taillights disappearing into the gray.
I stand there, arms wrapped around myself, watching the empty space where his truck used to be.
What just happened?
"Hey."
I spin around.
A guy in a paramedic uniform is walking toward me from thestation. Stocky build, tired eyes, coffee cup in hand. He looks like he hasn't slept in a week.Tony.
Oh no."I was just leaving?—"
"Laine. Please. Just—wait." He stops a few feet away, studying me like I'm a puzzle he's trying to solve. "Look, I don't know what just happened between you two. Not my business. But I saw you talking and I just..."
He trails off. Takes a sip of coffee. Tries again.
"I'm worried about him."
My stomach drops. "Tell me."
Tony glances back at the station, then at me. He looks like he's deciding whether to cross a line.
He crosses it.
"He's not eating. I mean, he says he is, but I've worked with the guy for years. I know what he looks like healthy." Tony shakes his head. "He's dropped maybe fifteen pounds since October. Picks up every extra shift he can get. I think he's scared to go home."
That's too much. Way too much.
"And the worst part?" Tony's voice drops. "The Reid part of Reid is just... gone. You know what I mean? The jokes, the energy, the way he used to light up a room? That guy doesn't exist anymore. He just goes through the motions. Does the job. Goes home to that empty house."
I feel sick. "Has he talked to anyone? A therapist, or?—"
"I've tried. Believe me." Tony's laugh is bitter. "He just says he's fine. Handling it. But he's not fine. He's not handling anything. He's just..." He searches for the word. "Surviving. Barely."
"What about Blake? Does he know how bad?—"
"Blake." Tony's expression hardens. "Blake's the whole reason we're here, isn't he? Whatever went down between those two, it broke something in Reid. He won't talk about it. Won't say the guy's name. But I've seen him checking news reports from Afghanistan at three in the morning when he thinks no one's looking."
Oh, Reid.
"I don't know what you can do," Tony says. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. But you're the first person I've seen him actually talk to in months. Even if it was just for a minute." He meets my eyes. "He loved you. I don't know what happened, but I know that much. And I think losing you and Blake at the same time just... emptied him out."
I don't know what to say. My throat is too tight.
"Just—" Tony shrugs, helpless. "If there's anything you can do. Anyone you can reach. I'm running out of ideas here."
He heads to his car, pulling out, leaving me alone in the parking lot.
The January wind cuts through my sweater. I barely feel it.
Anyone you can reach.
I think about Blake's number, still sitting in my phone. I meant to delete it after that night. I was going to.
