Page 146 of What We Brave
Just pick one. Any one. Put it on. Go outside. Chop wood or whatever the fuck. Get away from her before I?—
Footsteps on the stairs.
My whole body goes rigid.
Please keep walking. Please go to the bathroom. Please don't?—
The footsteps stop. Door opens.
Right behind me.
I can feel her. The heat of her. So close there's barely a breath between us. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My hands are gripping the edge of the drawer so hard the wood bites into my fingers.
"Turn around."
I shouldn't. If I turn around, if I look at her?—
"Blake. Turn around."
I turn around.
Because she asked. Because she could ask me to walk into traffic right now and I'd do it. Because my body isn't mine anymore. It's hers. Has been for months.
My back hits the dresser. She's right there. Those wide eyes staring up at me. Searching my face.
"I want you."
Three words. They hit me like a fist to the sternum. I grip the drawer pull behind me. Knuckles going white. The wood creaks under my hand.
"I'm ready," she says.
She steps back. Reaches for the hem of Reid's t-shirt. Pulls it over her head.
And she's naked.
Completely fucking naked.
Standing in my bedroom. Biting her lip. Eyes a little worried, watching my reaction.
CRACK.
The drawer pull snaps off in my hand. I stare at it stupidly for a second, then drop it on the floor.
When I look back at her, she's still standing there. Bare skin. Soft curves. Marks from Reid scattered across her collarbone, her hip, her inner thigh. And mine—that dark bruise on her neck, right where I put it.
My chest is heaving. When did I stop breathing? When did I start again?
"I didn't shower yet." She wraps her arms around herself. Cheeks flushing. "Maybe I should—I mean, I still have—from last night?—"
"Laine." My voice sounds like gravel. Like something broken. "I want you so fucking much. Maybe too much." I shake my head. Try to find words that make sense. Try to be honest even though honesty right now is terrifying. "I can't—I'm not. Fuck." Deep breath. "I don't think I can give us the kind of first time you deserve. I'm too raw."
She should leave. Go shower. Give me time to get my shit together. Give us both time.
Instead she steps closer.
Takes my hand.
Guides it between her thighs.
