Page 82 of What We Brave
"Yes." That part I'm sure about. "Just us. The three of us. Nobody else." Crap. Does that make me a hypocrite? I want both men, but they have to settle for me?
Reid nods slowly. "What about... what people would say?" Oh my god, they're actually considering this. Am I happy about that? Yeah, I have no idea. What a freaking confusing night.
"Your crew," Blake adds. "The hospital. Laine's yoga friends."
Oh God. What would they say? Jamila probably knows people in all kinds of relationships. But would she support me being with these two men?
"Some people wouldn't get it." I swallow. "Some people would think we were weird. Or broken. Or just horny."
"My crew would have a field day," Reid mutters. "Tony alone..."
"Does that matter?" Blake asks quietly. "What they think?"
Reid and I both look at him.
"I spent three months in Afghanistan trying to outrun what I felt."Blake's jaw tightens. "Damn near got myself killed because I was too scared to want something that didn't fit the rules. And you know what? The rules didn't give a shit about any of us. They just... broke us anyway."
Reid exhales. "He's not wrong."
"Would it be weird?" I ask. "For you two? Living together, sharing..." I trail off.
"Sharing you?" Reid finishes.
The word hangs there.Sharing. Like I'm a dessert they're splitting. My stomach flips.
"I don't love that framing," I admit. "That doesn't feel great."
"Sorry. I didn't mean—" Reid winces. "I just meant... Blake and I have shared a house for years. Shared Jared. Shared grief. This would be different, obviously, but..."
"We already know how to live together," Blake says. "We already know each other's worst days."
"You've seen me at three AM after a bad call," Reid adds. "You've held my head over a toilet."
"You sat with me through the nightmares." Blake's voice drops. "The bad ones."
They're looking at each other now. Something passes between them — years of history I'll never fully understand. They need each other. And this may be the only way that happens.
So much pressure.
"Would it be weird?" Reid repeats my question back at Blake.
Blake considers it. Really considers it, rubbing his palms over his thighs.
"Probably sometimes. Yeah." He shrugs. "But weird isn't the same as wrong."
"Are we really doing this?" Reid's voice is barely above a whisper. "Actually considering this?"
"I think we are," I say slowly. "But that doesn't mean we're ready. Or that it'll work."
They were just shoving each other. Now we're discussing relationship logistics. There is a very real chance we're all having a collective breakdown right now.
But it doesn't feel like a breakdown. It feels like the first honest conversation we've had in months.
It feels…possible.
Blake shifts beside me on the couch. "So what are we afraid of? If we're going to talk about this — really talk — we should know what we're walking into."
Reid laughs, but there's no humor in it. "How much time do you have?"
