Page 216 of What We Brave
"You want to invite strangers to do our yard work?"
"Not strangers. Just... more permanent residents." He's not looking at either of us. Picking at the label on his water bottle. "Someone who'salready here six nights a week, hypothetically. Who already has opinions about our flower beds."
Laine goes still beside him.
"Someone who owns brand new gardening gloves," Reid adds. "Floral print. Very committed to the aesthetic."
"Reid," Laine says.
"I'm just doing math. One apartment nobody sleeps in, one house everybody sleeps in. Seems like a resource allocation problem."
"Reid."
"I'm not saying anything. I'm observing." He crumples the bottle. "Out loud. In your general direction."
Laine pulls her glove off. Puts it back on. Pulls it off again.
"I didn't sign a new lease," she says quietly. "I'm on month to month now."
Reid's hands stop moving. He doesn't look at her. Doesn't look at me. Just sits there, very carefully not reacting.
"I'm there maybe twice a week," she continues. "To grab mail. Check that it still exists."
"Sounds like a really expensive mailbox," Reid says. Light. Easy. But I can hear the held breath underneath.
"It is." Almost a smile. "It's a very expensive mailbox."
I set the debris bag down. Lean against the fence. Keep my mouth shut because if I open it right now, everything I've been holding will come out and it'll be too much, too fast, too desperate.
Don't push. She's talking. Let her talk.
Laine looks at the house. Our house. The one she sleeps in six nights a week. "Is— I mean, do you want me here. Permanently? Is that where this is heading?"
Reid and I trade glances, then answer "Yes," at the same time. Reid's voice is just shy of a yell.
She deflates, but in a 'thank god' way, not a disappointed way. "Okay. Good. That's good. I—I'm not ready to decide yet," she says. "I just—I'll think about it. That it's not... off the table."
Not off the table.That's not yes. It's not even close to yes.
But it's not no.
And after yesterday,not nois more than I expected.
Reid nods. "No pressure. Just... the offer stands. Whenever. If ever." He pauses. "But also our water bill would go down if we consolidated households. I'm just being fiscally responsible."
Yeah. My eyes might bug out of my head a little bit. The shit that comes out of his mouth. "You bought a sock puppet last week."
"Stop judging me!"
Laine laughs, but pretty quickly she's looking at me. Does she want me to tell her to stay? To move in? I want more Laine, always, but I don't think I get a say in this right now. Shit's too fragile.
"Take your time," I say. "There's no rush."
Something in her face softens and she reaches out and takes my hand.
My breath stops. Just for a second. Because yesterday those fingers let go, and today they're reaching out, and my body still remembers losing her. But I thread my fingers through hers and shove that other shit away.
"Thank you," she says. "For not pushing."
